Help, I Am Older Than The Man Who Proposed To Me

by - December 10, 2020


Talking about age, to some ladies, it is just numbers, and to others, it is a great determinant if they will give a yes or no to a proposal.

To those who see age as just numbers and that it has nothing to do with their ultimate decision, good for you, but If you are one of those who don’t know if you can cope with being joined to a man who is a year or ten years older than you, then this post is for you, you’ll find one or two things to guide you in this decision you are about t make.

Questions To Ask Yourself

1.       1.  Can I Submit To This Man?

Submission is what is expected of every woman in marriage. I have often heard that submission(RESPECT) is one of the greatest need of a man.

Sit down with yourself and ask if you’ll be able to submit to this man even though you are older than him.

By default, our word always feels the man must be older than the lady as that is the only way the lady will find it easy to submit as it wouldn’t look like she is submitting to a man who is younger than her.

But then, submission isn’t only a function of age, while his being older makes respecting/submitting to him easier but if you’ll look at it closely, you’ll see that there are some people asides him that are also younger to you that you respect without any grudge.

So, ask yourself this question.


2.       2.  Is This Man Mature?

While there are men who are mature in every area that matters at 25 years of age, there are some men who are not as matured as the 25 years old man even though they are 35.

Talking about maturity, you might want to ask yourself,

Is he spiritually mature (Does he have a relationship with God)?

Is he financially mature (what is his relationship with money)?

Is he emotionally mature (How does he deals with his feelings)?

Ask yourself these questions, your answers will guide if you are going to say a yes or a no.


3.       3.  Will I Need To Tell My Family Members?

It might be no big deal to declare the age of your man if he were to be older than you to your immediate family, but since you are the older one here, this is a big question to be answered.

The reason why you need to answer this question is so you know how to tell you parents and siblings. Will you tell them as soon as the relationship starts, or you’ll hold on till after some years in marriage.

Telling your family might lead to them not respecting him as he should be respected, so you might want to hold back from telling them initially until much later when they have come to respect him for who he is and not just the date on his birth certificate. This is only a suggestion as you know your family and its dynamics.


4.       4.  Can This Man Lead Me?

Beyond the numbers of years he has lived on earth, does this man have a sense of purpose, or is he just one of those men who believes whatever will be will be and so they can just fold hands and watch life as it unfolds.

Age has nothing to do with how serious he is with life, it has more to do with individuals than it is with the number they bear.

Can he lead you?

Does he have a sense of purpose and direction?

Ask these questions.

These questions are only to serve as guide as you weigh it in your heart of hearts.

Don’t throw away a good man whom God sent to you only because of his age, but if after deliberations and prayers, you then feel you are still going to say no, by all means do that. No one will live in that home with you.

Continue to pray for another son of the Father, and I believe he’ll have him delivered to you in no distant time.

You can also brood on this scripture 

I am young, and you are old, so I was afraid to tell you what I think. 

I told myself that you ought to speak, that you older men should share your wisdom. 

But it is the spirit of Almighty God that comes to us and gives us wisdom. 

Itt is not growing old that makes us wise or helps us to know what is right.

Job 32:6‭-‬9 GNT

Has this post helped you, have you gone through a similar situation, feel free to share in the comments section.

So Much Light!

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  1. I applaud you for this but I'll say we still have more questions.

    1. Please, ask your questions, I'll be glad to answer them.

  2. This is a great post.

    My mother is older than my father and we the children didn't know until we were all grown up.

    They really respected themselves over the years, and for anyone going into such relationship, I'll suggest she goes into the relationship with a man whose age gap isn't so huge so that she doesn't feel she is married to her younger brother.

    1. Thanks for sharing your story, Shola.

      Yes, it's only wise that the age gap shouldn't be so wide that the lady starts to feel she is married to her younger brother.

      Thanks for leaving a comment.

  3. May God increase your knowledge. Am glad to have you as in-law. Keep the good work ma .