I hope it is not too late to say a Happy New Year To You.

It feels just like yesterday when I mentioned that the Blog was going on a break to resume today, time really flies.

We are already 14 days into a new year, and while there is nothing we can do about the times that have been used up in the year, but we very well can decide what will be the outcome of the remaining days of the year.

Here are my thoughts to you as the year continues to roll by.

 1. Don't Joke With Your Relationship With Jesus

Yes!

Create out time for the Lord amidst the hustle bustle of your life.

There is nothing on your table that will be able serve to as a tenable excuse as to why you neglect your  relationship with God.

I know there are bills to be paid which won't get paid if you decide to spend all your waking hours in church, but that is no excuse to stop following closely after the Lord.

Going to a physical building called church can help grow your relationship with the Lord, but it isn't only limited to that, what do you do when you’re outside the four walls of the church? 

At the end of the day, He is the only one who truly matters.

Read: How To Make Out Time For God Even With A Busy Schedule

2. Have A Focus

This is akin to having a goal, and while you might not be able to fully decide what happens, but deciding to live life without a goal is you accepting to wander through the year aimlessly and this isn't a great option.

So to have a great year, set goals around important areas of life, which includes but not limited to;

-Your spiritual life

- Your financial life

- Your health

- Your Marital life

- Your Career

Create goals around these important aspects of your life and create structures that will see that you are able to achieve them.

I understand perfectly well that seasons of life are different, and there are seasons where God wants you to major on a particular aspect of your life, so if this is you, by all means, major on what the Father has highlighted for you.

I am also aware that life doesn't always go as planned, but it will be great to have goals to serve as a guide. Imagine if football players don't have a goal post, how will they be able to measure who wins a football match?

Absolutely no way! So, set goals.

Please remember, setting goals alone won't help you achieve the things you want to achieve, you will still need to work out your goals.

Read: What To Remember When Life Doesn't Go As Planned 

Read: Is Taking Responsibility For My Life Same As Not Trusting God?

3. Don't Waste Time

Everyone in the world do not have all things in equal proportion, but if there is one thing we all have in the same measure, it is Time.

Last year is gone, a brand new year is upon us, say yes to intentional living and no to just taking life as it comes.

Write a daily to-do list, focus on your focus, and don't waste this precious commodity called time!

Recognize what your time-wasting activities are and deliberately begin to starve them while replacing them with productive things.

This year looks so great, you can choose to have a great year or not by the things you do or don't do. So, please make a wise choice.

It promises to be a great year on the blog as we will be posting a new Blogpost every Thursday except when stated otherwise. Do expect great post as it relates to faith, lifestyle and everything in between.

So, this is me saying; Have A Great Year!

So Much Light!

***

Talking about age, to some ladies, it is just numbers, and to others, it is a great determinant if they will give a yes or no to a proposal.

To those who see age as just numbers and that it has nothing to do with their ultimate decision, good for you, but If you are one of those who don’t know if you can cope with being joined to a man who is a year or ten years older than you, then this post is for you, you’ll find one or two things to guide you in this decision you are about t make.

Questions To Ask Yourself

1.       1.  Can I Submit To This Man?

Submission is what is expected of every woman in marriage. I have often heard that submission(RESPECT) is one of the greatest need of a man.

Sit down with yourself and ask if you’ll be able to submit to this man even though you are older than him.

By default, our word always feels the man must be older than the lady as that is the only way the lady will find it easy to submit as it wouldn’t look like she is submitting to a man who is younger than her.

But then, submission isn’t only a function of age, while his being older makes respecting/submitting to him easier but if you’ll look at it closely, you’ll see that there are some people asides him that are also younger to you that you respect without any grudge.

So, ask yourself this question.

2.       2.  Is This Man Mature?

While there are men who are mature in every area that matters at 25 years of age, there are some men who are not as matured as the 25 years old man even though they are 35.

Talking about maturity, you might want to ask yourself,

Is he spiritually mature (Does he have a relationship with God)?

Is he financially mature (what is his relationship with money)?

Is he emotionally mature (How does he deals with his feelings)?

Ask yourself these questions, your answers will guide if you are going to say a yes or a no.

3.       3.  Will I Need To Tell My Family Members?

It might be no big deal to declare the age of your man if he were to be older than you to your immediate family, but since you are the older one here, this is a big question to be answered.

The reason why you need to answer this question is so you know how to tell you parents and siblings. Will you tell them as soon as the relationship starts, or you’ll hold on till after some years in marriage.

Telling your family might lead to them not respecting him as he should be respected, so you might want to hold back from telling them initially until much later when they have come to respect him for who he is and not just the date on his birth certificate. This is only a suggestion as you know your family and its dynamics.

4.       4.  Can This Man Lead Me?

Beyond the numbers of years he has lived on earth, does this man have a sense of purpose, or is he just one of those men who believes whatever will be will be and so they can just fold hands and watch life as it unfolds.

Age has nothing to do with how serious he is with life, it has more to do with individuals than it is with the number they bear.

Can he lead you?

Does he have a sense of purpose and direction?

Ask these questions.

These questions are only to serve as guide as you weigh it in your heart of hearts.

Don’t throw away a good man whom God sent to you only because of his age, but if after deliberations and prayers, you then feel you are still going to say no, by all means do that. No one will live in that home with you.

Continue to pray for another son of the Father, and I believe he’ll have him delivered to you in no distant time.

You can also brood on this scripture 

I am young, and you are old, so I was afraid to tell you what I think. 

I told myself that you ought to speak, that you older men should share your wisdom. 

But it is the spirit of Almighty God that comes to us and gives us wisdom. 

Itt is not growing old that makes us wise or helps us to know what is right.

Job 32:6‭-‬9 GNT

Has this post helped you, have you gone through a similar situation, feel free to share in the comments section.

So Much Light!

Social media can be both a blessing and a curse depending on how you use it, but irrespective of all that, you are still supposed to have a little control over your life no matter how small.

This era is quite a digitalized time and everything seems to be bubbling, but there are times when you just have to take a step back from the seemingly fast-paced world and see if you are still you and can enjoy your space even if there are no likes or followers looking at you.

Many people are of the opinion that SM is fake as people only post their highlighted life on it, while this might not be the total truth, but it is still true to a great extent.

Some months back, a lady on my timeline was posting how she was trying to make her braids all by herself, she showed us the process and the total number of hours it took her in getting the final result ready.

Then she mentioned something I consider profound, she said and I quote loosely that she could have left us out of the process and only one to show us the finished product and the start creating lovely hashtags for the finished product. But that is what a whole lot of people do, they'd leave you out of the whole process and make you feel as though nothing is really working in your life.

You'll agree that we all need a break sometimes from these apps that people only post their highlighted lives on.

Pointers That You Need A Break

1. You are becoming depressed due to the perfect life of your online friends

Yes.

Social media pressure is so real.

It is on the media that you'll see the kind of car your friend is driving and you wouldn't even care to know if that car is a non-policy car from the company he work for.

Yes, companies give non-policy cars to their members of staff, it is a car just given to be able to take the employee around and should be want to leave the job, and if his appointment gets terminated, he'll have to drop the car.

And even if that friend of yours bought the car with his money, what makes you think that you can't also work to be able to afford that.

If you start seeing yourself beginning to compare the life of the random person you see online or even that of a friend, and then you begin to use that as a yardstick to judge your life, and you keep falling short, now might be a good time to go offline till you are in a much better place so that you won't end up committing suicide or worse, thinking that God is not faithful.

2. Important Things In Your Life Are Beginning To Slack

You no longer pray

You can't meet with deadlines at work

Assignments are left undone.

The pile of your unread books keeps increasing.

All because you took a seat to Instagram and spent four solid hours there busy scrolling down different news feed. News feed that you can never exhaust even if you stay there for a week, there will always be something new.

If you discover that there are things you consider important that you no longer have time for because you are on the media for hours without end, now might be a good time to take a break until you are able to come back in control.

How to go on The Break

Uninstall the app

Uninstall it and if you'd want to go to the extreme, you can delete it for the duration of your break.

Fill the time with something worthwhile

Recommendations

~Read books

~Take online courses

~Bond more with your offline friends

~Be happy to be by yourself

~Go to places, have fun, take pictures and just let the pictures be on your phone since you don't have to upload them for the world to see.

Remember you only live life once, so determine to live it to the fullest.

Even if you have a business to run online, you can have two phones, one for personal use, and the other, strictly for your business.

So when you are on break but you still need to run your online business, you pick up your business phone and do business on it.

If you'll still be coming online because of your business, make sure you respect yourself enough to only do business when you're online.

No one will know when you stop attending to customers and quickly log into an app, but you know. So respect yourself enough to take a clean break.

One of the thing about social media break is that it'll help you see if indeed your life is full of there are no likes and comments from followers.

It just put things in the right perspective for you.

December is here, month of reflection, take time and go offline.

If you are very active online, you might post it on your timeline or even decide to go offline without prior notice. Whatever you do, just take the time offline to detox.

Let me tell you this for free, you will come back from the break feeling refreshed.

So much light!

This is one book I think everyone should read.

I wrote in a post some months back about how I read this book as a 100 level undergraduate in the university, and how after that I still went ahead to buy it during my NYSC year, you can read that post here

I had thoroughly read that book, but then recently, this month to be precise, I found my heart been stirred to read this book all over again, this is not because I don’t have other books to read, but I just knew it in my knower that this is one book I should be reading and I am grateful, I didn’t miss this season.

At a point during my reading, I got to a point where I felt that this book is not just for ladies, but even for men too. So if you are a man reading this, you might want to get a copy.

Below are some of the lessons I learnt from the book.

1.       1. Learn To Have A Great Life Going By Yourself

This is the lady part, where you spend enough time by yourself to be able to get to know exactly who you are on the inside.

The author calls it, singing a solo on your own so that when another voice joins, it will only create a lovely harmony.

While it will be great to have a beautiful duet, make sure you have enough going as a lady on your own, because that will even help you realize whom you will need to bring on board.

2.       2. Learn To Handle All Seasons Of Your Life

Life is in seasons.

Just like it is in the natural, there will be spring when everything is getting busy, and then summer when it becomes overly busy with a whole lot of things to do, and then by fall, your responsibilities starts getting reduced and then by winter, you’ll finally sit on your chair and wish you had more to do.

To think that there will be a time as the fall is amazing, but before then, get busy.

3.       3. There is more to being a lady than being female

I found this statement extremely profound.

While every girl child never choose to be a female, but being a lady is by choice and we can choose to be one.

I know there are already 1001 rules that you must abide by if you are a lady, but beyond those rules, be an oasis; someone that provides refuge, relief or a pleasant contrast, be an haven where people can come into and be feel safe. A lot of bad things is going on in today's world already.

Be the different one.

4.       4. Give Equal Attention To All Parts Of Your Life

This is a prerequisite to becoming a balanced and total individual.

Giving attention to all parts of your life means you are not tipping on this side or the other, but all sides are being maintained and are operating maximally.

While this might seem like a lot to do, but then, with the right structures in place, you’ll begin to see that every aspect of your life is moving towards a desired direction.

5.       5. There is An Advantage That Singleness Gives You

The quality of the married lady that you will be is directly proportional to the quality of the single lady that you presently are.

It is a good thing to be married as you now have someone who is committed to be on your team for life, but before you get joined to that significant other, the period in between is a great one.

In the author’s words

‘… But it is the single woman who has time to develop true spirituality. She is not encumbered with the concerns of children or mate…’

Been married is a great thing, but it does come with a level of responsibility of taking care of a husband and children, and while that isn’t bad in itself, but the married lady’s attention is now shared between equally important activities which isn’t so with the single lady.

If you’re single, now isn’t the time to cry that there is no ring on your finger but to use is pursuing your God-given dreams, whatever that is.

This is a time to strengthen your self on several different levels.

This is a time to strengthen your economy, your spirituality and your personality.

Each area needs to be strengthened so that you can clearly discern, when offers comes, whether you are in love or in need.

Singleness is an advantage, use it well.

I believe I have done my best in stirring your heart to read this book if you haven’t.

Have you read the book, what did you gain?

I look forward to reading your comments.

So Much Light!

I was on Facebook recently, and a lady made a post about how she didn’t understand where the weekend flew to, that literally means the weekend went by too fast.

From the interactions on her timeline, I  realized that most people who work Nine-five also have this challenge too.

You’ll agree with me that Thank God It's Monday is not as common as Thank God it's Friday. I doubt if you have never heard Thank God It’s Monday.

While both days are just like any day of the week, one of days is dearly loved and the other is awfully dreaded, like some people begin to have headaches once it is Sunday evening in anticipation of  the week day that comes right after it.

This doesn't have to be you; you can look forward to Monday without any feeling of dread.

So, if you would like to know how to go about this, then keep reading.

1. Limit Your Online Presence During The Weekend

This is a personal rule for me that have helped tremendously in making sure I am well rested and all pumped up before the beginning of another week.

Stay off major social media especially the ones that bombards you with too much news.

I for one stay offline till late in the night on most weekends, the only exception is when I receive a call from work to submit a report and because I have a commitment to my employers, I come online to send my report and then go back offline.

Though I'll admit that it is easier to stay totally offline till a stipulated time than it is to come online and then switch off your data.

So, if your lifestyle permits you, stay offline on most weekends. You'll be able to literally increase the days in your weekend by doing this.

2. Have A List Of Things To-do 

The list is not supposed to limit the fun or the rest you will be having, but it only makes sure that you rest alongside doing other great things that your work schedule might not have allowed you to do during the week.

If you have a job that is very demanding, it is only expected of you to do the things that really matters to you during your weekends.

The list does not necessarily have to be anything fancy or overwhelming, they should just include what you will want to do.

It might include

•         To tidy up my room
•         Spend two hours in intercession
•         Read my book for the month for one hour
•      Spend two hours watching a great movie

This is only a guide; you can modify the list to suite your personality.

One reason you might be dreading Monday might be because you haven’t used your weekend well, if you constantly do the things you really want to do, you might end up eagerly looking forward to Mondays, and even if it doesn’t become your favorite day of the week, you would be able to stop approaching it with a sense of dread.

3. Arrange Your Clothes For The Week During Weekend

Since you are not online and that gives you extra hours to do the things that really matter, also use that spare time to sort out the clothes you’ll be wearing for your week. 

Doing this makes you feel more in control.

There is just this thing about arranging your clothes during the weekend, most likely Sunday, you feel ready to take the week heads on.

4. Do Other Things That Makes You Feel Happy

You definitely can’t control your weekdays to a large extent especially if you are in paid employment, but your weekends are yours to do what makes you truly happy.

You might not be able to play ball after work hours but you definitely can incorporate that into your weekend.

Yours doesn’t have to be playing of ball, you know what makes you happy, try to incorporate them into your weekend.

5. Learn To Be At Peace With your Colleagues/Superiors And Enjoy Your Job

Every job has its high days and low days, there are days when you feel so good and you look forward to staying in the corporate/business world for a long time, and there are other days when you feel so overwhelmed with work-load that you feel like typing your resignation letter almost immediately.

Trust me when I tell you that I have been in the two extremes.

Even when you have superiors that are hard to work with, try to look for a way to be able to have a good relationship with them, because if you don’t, it will make you detest your job and it will make you dread every new week.

Love the things you have to do at work as well as learn to be friendly with the people you work with; both superiors and colleagues.

This will invariably help you look forward to coming back on Monday because you will be coming to a home away from home, and since you spend more of your waking hours at work, it is only wise that you have a cordial relationship with everyone.

While there are certain dynamics that must be put into consideration to the tips mentioned above, like your little children if you are married, school work if you are running a weekend program and so on. 

Whatever it is, you can still work with these principles, modify them to fit your lifestyle, have a great weekend, and resume to work on Monday with so much zest.

Cheers to more Thank God It’s Monday

So Much Light! 

Personal finance is one aspect of life that you need to pay attention to. 

While you might not be able to determine what happens to the money in CBN, but you can definitely control what happens to the money you recieve credit alert for at the end of the month or when you offer a service.

To be able to be an highly successful individual financially, then you have to keep an eye on where your money is going.

During my days in the University, I didn't have any other source of income asides that which came from home, and because there was no other person I could call, no rich uncle somewhere or big sister somewhere, I knew I had to be prudent in my money game if I ever want not to go sleeping around with men for money.

The same principles helped me during my NYSC year, when I got my first job post NYSC as well as when I got a promotion too and my income was increased.

Even if you come from a family where you have people whom you can put a call to and recieve a credit alert, you must not completely rely on them because you can't do that for long before those involved get tired.

Most people are of the school of thought that if there is a raise in their income or if they recieve a gift, then they'll be able to save more.

But often times, contrary is the case.

Wants will always increase with an increase in money at hand, and except if you are a person who is extremely discipline, the increase in salary won't make you save more.

If you earn fifty thousand a month and can't save five thousand, the same reason why you can't save at least 10% of that money is the same reason why you won't be able to save five hundred thousand out of five million.

Money will never at any point be enough, and spending all when your paycheque comes is one sure way to poverty.

You do not need to earn more to save more.

Save from the seemingly little that you have in hand.

Don't wait for the time when you will have in excess as habits doesn't just change just at the snap of your fingers. Remember that old habits die hard.

It takes a whole lot of discipline.

So if your excuse for not putting aside money for the future is because it is not enough, then you need to start changing that mindset because it will never be enough except you save some and then multiply it as you go through life.

One reason why most think that their salary isn't so much to save from is because they're spending money on frivolities. By frivolities I mean things that are not very necessary.

I understand that you are the one working for the money and so you deserve to enjoy from the labor of your hands, while that is good, just make sure you aren't eating with all your ten fingers, and that you are not eating your tomorrow today.

Splurge a little, but keep your eyes on the goal.

See it this way, if you eat it all today, what will be there to eat tomorrow?

One truth that should guide you is that life is in phases, Life is all about seasons, and no matter how good or terrible a season is, it has only come and it will go.

The thing you can do to make sure that when that season goes, you do not have regrets is by making sure you have the needed wisdom to manage the available resources now.

Save with friends you can trust, put money together to invest too.

It is great when we are all moving forward together.

You don't need to earn a extra Naira to be able to save, just cut down on some non-essentials and you'll be amazed at the amount you will be able to put away into something profitable.

You might need to come with food from home instead of eating out at work.

You might need to cut down on your data consumption.

You know what your non-essentials are, do the right thing by cutting down on them, and thereby giving you more money to save.

Design a structure that works for you, but no matter what happens, make sure an amount goes from your income into your future.

As you go along in life, you'll also increase in value and as such, money will also flow towards you, when this happens, don't only increase your standard of living, also increase your savings/investment rate too.

I sincerely desire that you PROSPER and be in good health, even as your soul prospereth.

This is the will of the Lord for you, and you are not permitted to live any less that what he wants for you!

So much Light!

One of the thing that makes relationship great is the fact that both the man and woman are from different backgrounds and so have different perspective to things, while this might make the relationship more fun as there are two people who totally have different ideologies to things, but this fact can also be the bedrock of disagreement.

Talking about looking great at all times, some individuals have gained so much mastery over their appearance and have found what was works for them, but others haven’t gained so much mastery. 

Jude had grown up seeing ladies wear good looking clothes, his mom and three sisters are always looking all put together at all times, Lola on the other hand grew up among two brothers and had some point started dressing like a tomboy to be able to blend with her brothers.

Jude went to the bank to settle some major debits the bank had been making on his account, while he was at the bank, he meets Lola who is one of the account officers in the bank. He collects her number to be able to reach her as regards his account, but he had hidden agendas, one thing led to another and after some months they get engaged.

Few months into the relationship Jude can’t seem to believe that he is engaged to a lady who doesn't even know the size of her gown.

***

The issue of dressing might seem very minor but it can definitely become something major especially when two lovers aren’t on the same page concerning it.

As you read on, bear in mind that anybody can change, even the worse dress-sensed person can become a great dresser just with a little push in the right direction.

What should you do if you want to help a partner who is a poor dresser? Here are five suggestions:

1. Communicate

Talk with your partner

Have a heart-to-heart communication that centers around your love for them but how (s)he isn't dressing well as you would appreciate.

Watch your tone and make sure you are not being judgmental so that the other person doesn't see it as though you aren't proud of them.

I was once in this shoe of being judgmental (I’ll share it one day in the nearest future).

2. Send Pictures 

Do you see pictures of clothes that will look good on your partner?

Then send it to them.

After you have talked it out, (s)he might sincerely want to get started but doesn't even know where to start, so send recommendations to them.

They might not end up buying that particular piece of clothing, but it will get their creative side in motion.

3. Buy What You Want

Is your lady wearing skirts that make her look 47 at 27, then you might want to take the bull by the horn and just buy what you know will look good on them.

New skirts.

New gowns.

New trousers if she wears them

New shirt for the man (this kind be a little tricky especially when buying shirt for a tall man)

New tie

Get a male or female friend to recommend a fashion designer that knows his/her onions and ditch your partner's tailor. The reason your partner’s tailor-made clothes haven’t been coming out right might be because of the person who sews the clothes

I'll suggest you stay away from buying underwear especially if you are not married. 

4. Send Money For A Wardrobe Overhaul

The reason why the lady might not be looking as put together as you want might be due to the fact that she is on a very tight budget.

He might be trying to pay off car loan at work, or saving money for another degree and can't seem to part with a naira to spend on clothes.

This is where your help comes in.

Sending of money should go both ways, as the man can send to the lady, and lady can send money to the man as well.

Be sure you are in a committed and defined relationship so that you don't have regrets of the money you spent except of course you love charity.

Dressing is an important part of life, and we all have to consistently up our game in this aspect.

Are there other ways to help our partner’s dress better that has not been addressed in the post, do share your thoughts with us.

So much light ***