Physical Touch: How To Communicate Love To Your Partner In A Relationship

by - July 21, 2022

Hey Blog Fam,

Trust we are all doing great and following hard after all that the Lord has placed in our hearts.

I apologize for going away unannounced, so much has been happening with me recently, but I remain committed to coming here to share one or two nuggets with you, with the hope that you will find them useful and you will be able to implement them in your life too, even as you work towards getting better.

So, today’s post is one centered on relationships.

Love is a very beautiful thing, even the scriptures establish it that one of the mysteries;

There are three things that amaze me— no, four things that I don’t understand:..  how a man loves a woman. Proverbs 30:18-19

Gary Chapman; whose work is renowned for what he has done in the relationship and marriage space was the man who wrote the book: Five Love Languages, he explained the five love languages to be;

Physical Touch 

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Receiving of Gifts

Words of Affirmation

Gary talked about the fact that every human principally understands love in one of these love languages, and that we should seek to understand both the languages we speak as individuals and the ones our significant other understands.

Today’s post will be centered on the love language of Physical Touch especially ways in which partners in a relationship can speak this language while still maintain purity.

Physical touch as a love language does not literally mean having sex, but physical touch often leads to that, but for partners who are not yet married, this can be very dicey, as you aren’t allowed to have sex until you are married, but still you want to show that you love your significant other.

This puzzle of not wanting to have sex, while still showing love to your partner will lead us towards seeking healthy alternatives.

Before talking about the alternatives, let’s talk about what you shouldn’t be doing in your relationship though your primary love language is physical touch…


-  Don’t Hug Unnecessarily

Yes, though your primary love language or that of your partner might be physical touch, do well to understand that you can not fully speak that language in your relationship until you are both proclaimed married, so if you will both maintain purity stand, you might want to desist from hugging each other unnecessarily or those prolonged hugs where you are tapping current (if you know, you know). 

There is no point setting each other on fire if you won’t be able to do something with that fire.



   Don’t Touch Each Other

By touching, I mean don’t allow your hands to roam each other’s bodies. 

You aren’t permitted to explore each other’s bodies yet, and the fact that your primary love language is physical touch isn’t a yardstick for you to touch each unduly.

I understand that sometimes, emotions can run very wild, believe me when I say I understand this well, but then we are not subject to our emotions, we are able to control our emotions.

-  Don’t Stay When You Are Craving Physical Touch

If you are the partner who speaks the physical touch language, on days when you are craving that touch, kindly flee. 

If you are with your partner at the time you feel your emotions running wild, rather than staying and trying to form a strong man or strong woman, you can explain the situation at hand and then ask that you both say your goodbyes.

While you might really want to stay, wisdom demands that you leave, leaving at a time like that will definitely be hard, but it is something that must be done. You both wouldn't want to do something that you will regret later on. 


Moving on, let’s talk about the healthy alternatives;


     Holding of Hands

Doing this will help satisfy the love you seek even as you maintain strict sexual boundaries. 

As you are walking down a street, you can walk hand-in-hand, this will mean a lot to the partner whose primary love language is holding of hands.

And when we talk about holding hands, ensure that it is just the hands you are holding.

2.  Sit Close To Each Other When You Are Out On A Date

I’ll suggest you sit close when you are together, a distance where you can easily hit each other when the other person says a joke, or pinch each other when you are just trying to be funny. 

This won't be a good option when your emotions are running wild, this should be a time to sit opposite each other when you are on a date, but other times sitting close helps you bond. 

Whatever distance you choose to keep between your bodies, always remember that your body is a temple of the Lord, and your sitting close should not be an avenue to fondle your bodies.

3.  Speak Other Love Languages

Physical touch is a love language that you might not be able to fully speak in a relationship, there are dimensions of it that are left to our senior colleagues (people who are married), but physical touch is only one of the love languages, try speaking the others languages at intervals.

Spend quality time together in a public space 

Give and receive gifts from each other

Do things for each other (acts of service) 

And give each other accolades (words of affirmation)

To those in a relationship, trust that God will help you to always have the consciousness that marriage is an honorable thing, and you and your partner are strengthened to keep the bed and each other’s bodies undefiled all through this relationship phase in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Do invite me to your weddings when it finally happens!


There is so much Light***




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