Dear Guys...

by - February 17, 2022

Hey Blog Fam,

Trust we are all doing great and following hard after all the Lord has placed in our hearts.

So, today’s post is centered on the male-folk today, I sometimes write women-centered posts like this and this, but the spotlight is on the male gender today.

In our generation of today, we find that so much attention is given to raising the woman with seemingly little attention is given to raising the man, especially when we compare them.

There is a lot of women-only WhatsApp groups, so many ladies conferences, ladies support groups, all geared towards ensuring that the woman is a total being and lives a full life, and is also prepared for the role she would have to play in the life of her significant other when the time comes

But today, permit me to talk about the male gender.

We have seen from real-life experiences, that no matter the training we give to a lady, and how properly trained she is, if the man she eventually settles down with is not trained as she is, it is so possible that all the training we claim to have given the lady will not be of good use in the light of the man she is with.

To bring this into context, let’s talk about a lady; Dara, who has been trained to develop herself in all aspects of life, she is intelligent, has a great career, is domesticated, and to crown it all has a healthy relationship with God. Dara then meets and falls in love with Daniel, she is convinced that she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. Daniel has his career going well,  but, his relationship with God is on the low, his character is almost zero, and he can’t even tidy up his room, and he considers washing plates something beneath the male-child.

Because Dara is so much in love, she sees the flaws but doesn't acknowledge them as something that might ever become a big deal, and she goes ahead to get married to Daniel.

They have a beautiful time together for about five months, and Dara gets pregnant. Only that with the pregnancy, Dara becomes weak, she can hardly cook like she has always done before, but Daniel couldn’t help out at all in the home, he wasn’t even willing to learn. 

Dara finds that she is beginning to lose her home training, she is starting to shout at her husband, she rarely allows her husband to have his way with her, why would she give her body to who doesn't care about her? 

Things deteriorate to the level that they began to keep cold malice which was one of the things she had earlier vowed would never happen in her home. She remembers a meeting she had with her girls, she had proudly told them that on no account will she and her husband ever go to bed angry at themselves. She had told them that the sun was never going to set on their anger as she was going to be a virtuous wife, she would apologize on some days and her husband would be the one to apologize on some days, in short, they were going to be a formidable team.


But here she is, barely six months into her marriage and she and her husband haven’t had a proper conversation in the last 2 weeks except for the necessary good morning, I am fine, and what's for dinner he sometimes asks when he comes back from the office.

She knew she didn't do anything bad, and even if she were to be wrong, a proper man would have apologized for peace to reign. She had learnt that it takes two people to quarrel, even if she wasn’t apologizing, he could do it.

The height of it was when she went to the hospital to have their daughter, she had been delivered through a caesarian operation and had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. Daniel, being excited at the arrival of their baby had come to visit her every day, and the birth of the child seemed to bring them closer. Thank God for her mother-in-law who was living in the same state as they, Mama was the one who was bringing in food for her, especially the meals she was craving, and between the food mama was bringing and the food the hospital was serving, she was well-fed.

The birth of her daughter had brought her so much joy, but that joy was quickly tainted when she got home to meet dust on the couch, and as she just strolled into the kitchen to take a glass of water, she met the shock of her life when she saw the disposable plates that her husband had used in purchasing food during her absence all piled up in the kitchen, and as though that was not enough, she opened the pot that contained the last meal she cooked before the delivery and saw that it has spoilt.

It was an eye-sore


As much as we are clamoring for training for the girls, let’s not forget the boys, the boys we refuse to train will most likely frustrate the effort of the girls we train.

Please let’s train the guys too. And the boys who have turned to men, please train yourself, it might be hard to unlearn what you have learned all through your childhood, but it is not impossible, you can do it.

Like we say in my part of the world, a good wife material deserves a good tailor as a husband, just like any good husband material deserves a good tailor as a wife.

You’ll agree with me that no matter how expensive a cloth material is, the beauty can only come out if you give it to a fashion designer who knows his onions, give it a less professional person, and you’ll almost weep when you see your dress.

Let’s stop here this week, we’ll continue with this line of thought next week by God’s grace.

Are you a man, kindly read through and internalize the lessons, are you a woman reading this, read and share with the men in your circle.


 There Is So Much Light***

You May Also Like