Click here to read Part 1

Click here to read Part 2 

Hey Blog Fam,

Trust you are all doing great and following hard after all that the Lord has placed in your heart to do.

Today's post is the final part of the review of a relationship book written by two couples; David & Claudia Arp and Curt & Natelle Brown.

So, let's move to Date Nine & Date Ten which will be the focus for today's review.

Date Nine: Developing Spiritual Intimacy

This date is for you to talk about your relationship with the Lord and everything related to your spiritual life because this is the foundation on which every other thing rests. Although you and your partner are expected to be pursuing Jesus as individuals, it is also of utmost importance for both parties to be pursuing Jesus together.

Challenges are not meant to draw you and your partner away from God but to bring you more closer to him. Your relationship with God is not to be a passive experience, it is supposed to be soooo active, you need to be able to give building a solid relationship with Jesus all it will demand of you.

You and your partner have to ask yourselves if you are from the same spiritual background, by spiritual background, I don’t mean if you attend the same church because you can attend the same church and yet be of different spiritual background. Your spiritual background comprises of the doctrines you hold dear, your belief, and ideologies, you want to make sure all of these are the same, and if not what are those things that are different, and how do you both intend to compromise when you become a couple.

Praying together also makes so much difference, it even makes your relationship/marriage highly romantic sef. According to statistics, if you pray together, you are less likely to divorce, you’ll have a higher level of satisfaction and a higher level of commitment. Statistics have also proven that developing a shared belief system is central to having a healthy sexual relationship. There is so much good is embedded in prayer!

Spiritual intimacy means emotional closeness with God, and as you both seek the Lord together, this also contributes to emotional closeness with each other.

Love should be unconditional, not based on any condition, just like the way the love of Christ is. Forgiveness is also very essential in this, forgive and love just as Christ has forgiven you.

You are to accept your partner with all his/her strengths and weakness, both of these is what makes the total package of the person you love. It comes together. 

You can not claim to love the beautiful lady while disregarding that her weakness is she does not love to hand-wash clothes. Not at all, you are to accept both the strength and weakness. And when talking about weakness, be very mindful of the kind of weakness you accept, don't accept one that is centered on any form of abuse. Stay clear of an abusive partner. 

Marriage is to be entered with a servant heart where both partners are committed to serving each other. 

A few months back, I heard a member of my church say 'do not marry someone you can not serve'. And I consider this statement very profound. If you don't see yourself serving your partner, then you might want to soft-pedal on making a marital commitment because marriage as an institution is founded on sacrifice!

Asides from serving each other, you should also be ready to serve the world too, no matter how small, be sure to make an impact from your own little corner of the world. 

You and your partner do not have to wait until after I do to serve, you can be a blessing to the lives of others together even from your courting days. There are a lot of ways to do this, you can choose to volunteer in an outreach, pull funds together and support a project, and the list continues.

Date Ten- Choosing An Intentional Marriage

Marriage remains a creative effort on the part of those who enter it.

A beautiful marriage doesn't just happen, it takes the collective effort of both parties in it. 

Ever asked yourself, how involved you will want to be in the life of your spouse? The best choice here is the maximum involvement style where both partners are fully involved in each other's life. 

Even as you have plans to be fully involved in each other's life, also be ready to give each other grace too, knowing full well that seasons differ, and while you might both want to be actively involved in each other's lives at all times, some seasons might be on 100%, and other times, just 30%, but you should both agree on what is possible and obtainable in every season.

You and your partner should also deliberately choose to make time for each other, it is a deliberate choice that you have to make, and you both have to be careful of the things you are saying Yes to, because for everything you say Yes to, you are automatically saying No to something else, and you want to be sure that something else is not your partner. 

There will be exemptions where you will have to say Yes to some things even when it will mean spending less time with your partner, let this be the exemption and not the norm. For every Yes, make sure you understand the impact it will have on your relationship, your relationship should not suffer because of your other commitments.

 Progress and consistency is the watchword here.

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This is the end of this review, the book was such a great resource.

See you next week Thursday!

There Is So Much Light***