Dear Insecure Girl...

by - May 06, 2021


I remember when I was just a young girl still trying to find identity, my identity was based in so many things like the fact that my father was a respected pastor, then in my physique and how lovely I look, and at some point in how fast my education was and the list continues...

It all got to a point when I knew I had to have my identity rooted in something more solid, something that will be consistent through the years. And in these years of searching, I have found the truth, something I know will stand the test of time.

Dear Insecure Girl,

I write to you as one who has been there before.

Growing up, I used to be one semi-insecure girl. I was looking very strong on the outside but wasn’t as strong as I looked like on the inside.

I know what it feels like for people to think so highly of you and you don’t think so highly of yourself.

It’s so possible to be a fine girl every one loves on the outside but still struggle with those voices in your mind that tells you you are not enough.

Related: One Like That We Often Believe

I must confess that we all have our days, there are days you feel so high up there feeling all pumped up, and there are low days, days you question yourself and all you stand for. 

The point really is to make sure your high days increases while your low days continually stays on the decrease.

With that said, how then do you deal with your insecurities;

1.       1. Know That Everyone Isn't Perfect Physically Too

If your insecurity is in your physical apearnce, then this is a good place place to start.

I am yet to meet a lady who doesn't wish she can be like this or that. You can look at people on the outside and greatly admire them only for you to move closer and then see that they are also not perfect too and wish to have more of this and less of that.

- Lola greatest wish is that she has a smaller nose while Daniella wants to have a wider nose

-        - Esther greatest wish is that she is a little shorter while Bimpe wants to be few inches taller.

-          - Nkechi wants to have more curves in the right places while Adeola just wants to give all her curves away and covinently wear a size 8 again.

-          - Grace on the other hand complains of her big eyeballs are while Juliet is tired of having people wake her up during meetings thinking she is sleeping while the challenge is how small her eyeballs are and this makes it difficult for people to differntaite when her eye is opened or closed.

The one who is chubby wants to drink all the slimming tea available to slim down, while the one who considers herself too slim wants to take all the supplements known to be able to add more flesh.

We all struggle with these things, all-be-it in different proportion, so breath a lot better knowing it isn't just you who doesn't like her flappy arms or her wide nose.

Some of us have only decided to no longer dwell too much to on the things we can not change.


2. Stay Off Your Insecurities Booster.

You know those things that fuel your insecurities, those things or people that make you look like trash in your own eyes.

Stay off such.

If those things are prevalent in some environments, desist from going to such environment at least for a while.

 If yours is a case of people who are fond of fuelling your insecurities, those who derive pleasure in calling you demeaning names, start minimizing your association with them until you are in a much better place mentally.


1.       3. See Yourself Through The Father's Eyes

Have you ever thought about how God sees you?

While others might be seeing a girl who isn't beautiful, how does God sees you?

While others might be seeing a girl who isn't so smart and has to be taught a thing over and over before she can grasp it, how does God sees you?

While others might be seeing a girl who isn't going anywhere worthwhile in life, how does God sees you?

You are wonderful and fearfully made. 

God makes no mistakes and in his eyes, you are perfect just as you are, believe it.

You have everything that makes you uniquely you in the right proportion. God is a master designer.

 4. Let Your Self-Worth Be In God

This is  the similar to the previous point but it's slightly different.

As you see yourself as the Father sees you, you have to make sure that your Identity is in him too.

Remember, it is in Him we live, move and have our being.

I wrote in a recent post how your job, marital status et. al shouldn't be the one determining how you feel, the best form of Identity isn't taken from how good-looking your spouse is or how well behaved your child is, or the kind of car you drive, or you'd job title.

All of that is good, but they are all fleeting, here today, can be gone tomorrow. One thing is sure to remain. 

The fact that you're a child of God.

 Let that be the greatest identity you have...

Let nothing shake you anymore, you are the beloved child of the Father.


There is so much light.



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