A Difficult Choice

by - May 20, 2021

Sometimes last year, I had reasons to travel out of Lagos to Ibadan. During my visit, a friend I met during my service year accommodated me in her one-room apartment where she lives all alone.

Ara is that beautiful lady everyone used to admire during my days in the corper's fellowship.

Word- mama was there o

Prayer- present too

Beauty- She is present

Brain- On point

Character- Spot on

Just call her a complete package.

On one of those nights, we got talking concerning a proposal she had gotten about six months ago from one Dare in her church in Ibadan. Though I didn't know the man physically, but Ara had sent some of his pictures to me. 

That night our conversation got intensed.

'You mean you have not been praying about that proposal' I said to Ara with a deadly look on my face.

'You mean you were really expecting me to pray about Dare? Ara shot back at me with a tone that defied my glare.

'We both know that is what is expected of any sister who receives a marriage proposal from a man na' I replied her although I was confident she knew what I was telling her. 

'But, you know how much of a busy woman I am, I can not waste my precious time in prayer over that kind of man Biko' Ara responded.

'And what do you mean by that kind of man? I asked stressing the word 'that kind of man'

'He is not tush, he doesn't know how to dress, he commits blunder when he speaks english, he does not know how to combine colours, he is not even funny. Wo, Ore, the list is endless jare' Ara said as she got up from the bed on her way to the kitchen.

I couldn't help but shake my head as my friend of four years uttered those words.

'But all what you have stated are minor things o. I need some major reasons astouching why you didn't even bother to pray about him' I said as my friend returned to the room carrying a tray containing cake and a bottle of water.

'You call all those things minor? Ah! What are the list of the major things by your own standard then? Ara asked as she handed over a slice of cake to me before joining her on the bed.

'Okay, but you will have to answer my questions o. Is he born again? I asked in between bites.

'Yes, he is born again' Ara answered wondering where all the questions was going to lead to.

'Does he love God?

'Of a truth, for the period of time we have been friends, I can boldly say that he loves the lord, and his love for God is even contagious sef' Ara replied her friend while cutting a slice of cake.

'Does his core values align with the word of God? I asked her as I took another bite of the cake momentarily forgetting my fit-fam rule.

'Hmmmmmmmm. In all sincerity, his goals are deeply rooted in God's word. All he talks about is that after his departure from earth, people will say that they saw Jesus in Dare. Let me say it in his words 'I want them to say, because Dare lived, we caught a glimpse of Jesus' Ara said smiling as she remembered the way Dare's face glows whenever he made that declaration.

Is he a man of consistent character, can you say he is who keeps to his words? I further asked her.

'Yea Yea. He keeps to his words o. If he tells me he will call me by 12 in the afternoon and doesn't call by then, just know something is wrong. And that is just one of the many instances. He sure keeps to his words' Ara answered still wondering what her friend is trying to achieve.

'And I still don't get where you are going with all these your questions o' Ara voiced her concerns.

'Can he become tush? I asked her while still not answering her questions.

'Yes, anyone can become tush if they work at it na' Ara answered me.

'Can he learn how to combine colours and dress well? I asked her again

'Anybody can learn how to combine colours and dress well. I also learnt it myself' Ara replied finally coming to the understanding of what her friend was saying.

Can he learn to speak 'good' english? I asked my friend.

'Of course, with the right resources he can become a pro at speaking good english if there is anything like 'good english'. Ara replied smiling.

'So you see that you have placed more priority on the minor while deliberately ignoring the major' I finally said to my friend knowing full well that light has entered into her heart as it relates to our discussion.

'Hmmmmmmmmmmmm' That was all Ara could say that night.

Few minutes after that, we said our prayers.

My joy knew no bounds when three weeks after my visit Ara called me that she has given Dare a Big Yes!


It is becoming more alarming the way some ladies are putting more priority on what should take the least priority. 

We seem to be more concerned about the things that can be changed or improved upon with time as opposed to those things that only intervention from above can change.

While there are some are some features that can not be undone, for example, his weight, his height, the color of his eyes,and the list continues..., there are still others that can be worked upon.

That a young man can not speak good english today does not mean he can not be taught.

There are some men that can't seem to wear their size of suit today, that does not automatically mean it will continue like that. 

I was going through our family album some years back and I saw a picture of my dad around twelve years back wearing a Coat (you know that kind of suit that looks like agbada, that was what he was wearing), but if you see him today....

Conclusively, before you write that man off, make sure your answer is really from God and not because of your misplaced piority.

There is so much light***

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