Hey Blog Fam,

Today is Children's Day here in Nigeria where I currently live, and just as we are all celebrating it, let me wish you A Happy Children's Day!

Either your parents are still alive or not, either you grew up with them or not, either way, you are still a child, A Beloved Child Of God. Never Doubt This!

While I still have my parents are still alive which makes me a child, but my day of becoming a mom is drawing closer to me either I want to agree with it or not.

There are certain things I do at the moment that my friends or those close to me will tell me that I should stop doing those things as my mates have given birth to two or more children already.

I shouldn't mind those who said that right? I won't.

But either I want to agree with them or not, I can't deny the fact that sooner rather than later, being a biological mother is what is going to be my reality. 

So if you want to find out how I am preparing to be a mom, please, read on.

1. I AM LEARNING HOW TO PRAY FOR MY CHILDREN

If there is one statement I have heard most of the time, it is that this world is a battleground, and I can't afford to think life is just a playground. 

One of the dangerous things that can happen to anyone is to be on a battlefield and not know, the fact that you are aware that you are on a battlefield will help you with your choice of clothes, your choice of shoes, and even your choice of weapons of warfare that you'll carry. 

So with that knowledge in mind, I am beginning to learn how to pray for my children yet unborn, literally covering them with the blood of Jesus right from my womb and while they are still in the loins of their father. 

I am not even married yet, but what better time to dig my well than when I am not thirsty. So that's exactly what I am doing.

2. I AM EMBRACING KNOWLEDGE

Some weeks back, I watched a YouTube video of a lady who had a miscarriage because she ate too much pawpaw. 

The miscarriage could have been avoided only if she had known, but these things happen all the time; ladies eating what is not right for their child, ladies not taking enough nutritional supplements months prior to your wedding, the list is endless. 

Remember that the scriptures says My people perish (are destroyed) because of lack of knowledge, I don't want that to be me, and I am sure that you don't want the same too, so in order to avoid a certain kind of destruction that comes from ignorance, embrace knowledge.

I am subscribing to newsletters and channels that talk about motherhood, listening to videos and audios that can help. In simple terms, I am getting knowledge, and so should you, sis.

I am very aware that there are things I can only fully learn when I have a child living inside of me, but biko, let me learn all I can learn know from people who have gone ahead of me.

3. I AM BECOMING MORE SELFLESS

If there is one thing I have learned from the mothers around me, it is the fact that having a child makes you selfless, from having to share your body with the child, to giving the child nourishment at your bosom, to nurturing the child to adulthood and everything in between those seasons.

I have heard that nothing beats selfishness out of one's body than having a child fully dependent on you for survival, but while I wait to get to that season, I am trying to become less self-centered and more selfless.

I know I'll need a high dose of selflessness in the motherhood season, so let me start cultivating that habit now.

So, these are the things I am doing in this season of my life in preparation for my time as a biological mom.

Once Again, Happy Children's Day Everyone...

There is so much light***

Sometimes last year, I had reasons to travel out of Lagos to Ibadan. During my visit, a friend I met during my service year accommodated me in her one-room apartment where she lives all alone.

Ara is that beautiful lady everyone used to admire during my days in the corper's fellowship.

Word- mama was there o

Prayer- present too

Beauty- She is present

Brain- On point

Character- Spot on

Just call her a complete package.

On one of those nights, we got talking concerning a proposal she had gotten about six months ago from one Dare in her church in Ibadan. Though I didn't know the man physically, but Ara had sent some of his pictures to me. 

That night our conversation got intensed.

'You mean you have not been praying about that proposal' I said to Ara with a deadly look on my face.

'You mean you were really expecting me to pray about Dare? Ara shot back at me with a tone that defied my glare.

'We both know that is what is expected of any sister who receives a marriage proposal from a man na' I replied her although I was confident she knew what I was telling her. 

'But, you know how much of a busy woman I am, I can not waste my precious time in prayer over that kind of man Biko' Ara responded.

'And what do you mean by that kind of man? I asked stressing the word 'that kind of man'

'He is not tush, he doesn't know how to dress, he commits blunder when he speaks english, he does not know how to combine colours, he is not even funny. Wo, Ore, the list is endless jare' Ara said as she got up from the bed on her way to the kitchen.

I couldn't help but shake my head as my friend of four years uttered those words.

'But all what you have stated are minor things o. I need some major reasons astouching why you didn't even bother to pray about him' I said as my friend returned to the room carrying a tray containing cake and a bottle of water.

'You call all those things minor? Ah! What are the list of the major things by your own standard then? Ara asked as she handed over a slice of cake to me before joining her on the bed.

'Okay, but you will have to answer my questions o. Is he born again? I asked in between bites.

'Yes, he is born again' Ara answered wondering where all the questions was going to lead to.

'Does he love God?

'Of a truth, for the period of time we have been friends, I can boldly say that he loves the lord, and his love for God is even contagious sef' Ara replied her friend while cutting a slice of cake.

'Does his core values align with the word of God? I asked her as I took another bite of the cake momentarily forgetting my fit-fam rule.

'Hmmmmmmmm. In all sincerity, his goals are deeply rooted in God's word. All he talks about is that after his departure from earth, people will say that they saw Jesus in Dare. Let me say it in his words 'I want them to say, because Dare lived, we caught a glimpse of Jesus' Ara said smiling as she remembered the way Dare's face glows whenever he made that declaration.

Is he a man of consistent character, can you say he is who keeps to his words? I further asked her.

'Yea Yea. He keeps to his words o. If he tells me he will call me by 12 in the afternoon and doesn't call by then, just know something is wrong. And that is just one of the many instances. He sure keeps to his words' Ara answered still wondering what her friend is trying to achieve.

'And I still don't get where you are going with all these your questions o' Ara voiced her concerns.

'Can he become tush? I asked her while still not answering her questions.

'Yes, anyone can become tush if they work at it na' Ara answered me.

'Can he learn how to combine colours and dress well? I asked her again

'Anybody can learn how to combine colours and dress well. I also learnt it myself' Ara replied finally coming to the understanding of what her friend was saying.

Can he learn to speak 'good' english? I asked my friend.

'Of course, with the right resources he can become a pro at speaking good english if there is anything like 'good english'. Ara replied smiling.

'So you see that you have placed more priority on the minor while deliberately ignoring the major' I finally said to my friend knowing full well that light has entered into her heart as it relates to our discussion.

'Hmmmmmmmmmmmm' That was all Ara could say that night.

Few minutes after that, we said our prayers.

My joy knew no bounds when three weeks after my visit Ara called me that she has given Dare a Big Yes!

****

It is becoming more alarming the way some ladies are putting more priority on what should take the least priority. 

We seem to be more concerned about the things that can be changed or improved upon with time as opposed to those things that only intervention from above can change.

While there are some are some features that can not be undone, for example, his weight, his height, the color of his eyes,and the list continues..., there are still others that can be worked upon.

That a young man can not speak good english today does not mean he can not be taught.

There are some men that can't seem to wear their size of suit today, that does not automatically mean it will continue like that. 

I was going through our family album some years back and I saw a picture of my dad around twelve years back wearing a Coat (you know that kind of suit that looks like agbada, that was what he was wearing), but if you see him today....

Conclusively, before you write that man off, make sure your answer is really from God and not because of your misplaced piority.

There is so much light***

Songs are important, they have a way of soothing the nerves as well as calming the heart. 

Thank God for the diverse gift in the Body of Christ, giving us opportunity to have a taste of almost all genres of music.

I can testify that there are songs that minister deeply to me on certain days, speaking so much healing into my life, and those songs are always changing seasons after seasons.

So, let's get into the songs blessing my life in this season...

1. Oramipada

2. Goodness Of God

3. The Blessing 

4. With You Lord

5. Promises

So, there you have it, the five songs that are blessing me in this season.

There is so much light***

I remember when I was just a young girl still trying to find identity, my identity was based in so many things like the fact that my father was a respected pastor, then in my physique and how lovely I look, and at some point in how fast my education was and the list continues...

It all got to a point when I knew I had to have my identity rooted in something more solid, something that will be consistent through the years. And in these years of searching, I have found the truth, something I know will stand the test of time.

Dear Insecure Girl,

I write to you as one who has been there before.

Growing up, I used to be one semi-insecure girl. I was looking very strong on the outside but wasn’t as strong as I looked like on the inside.

I know what it feels like for people to think so highly of you and you don’t think so highly of yourself.

It’s so possible to be a fine girl every one loves on the outside but still struggle with those voices in your mind that tells you you are not enough.

Related: One Like That We Often Believe

I must confess that we all have our days, there are days you feel so high up there feeling all pumped up, and there are low days, days you question yourself and all you stand for. 

The point really is to make sure your high days increases while your low days continually stays on the decrease.

With that said, how then do you deal with your insecurities;

1.       1. Know That Everyone Isn't Perfect Physically Too

If your insecurity is in your physical apearnce, then this is a good place place to start.

I am yet to meet a lady who doesn't wish she can be like this or that. You can look at people on the outside and greatly admire them only for you to move closer and then see that they are also not perfect too and wish to have more of this and less of that.

- Lola greatest wish is that she has a smaller nose while Daniella wants to have a wider nose

-        - Esther greatest wish is that she is a little shorter while Bimpe wants to be few inches taller.

-          - Nkechi wants to have more curves in the right places while Adeola just wants to give all her curves away and covinently wear a size 8 again.

-          - Grace on the other hand complains of her big eyeballs are while Juliet is tired of having people wake her up during meetings thinking she is sleeping while the challenge is how small her eyeballs are and this makes it difficult for people to differntaite when her eye is opened or closed.

The one who is chubby wants to drink all the slimming tea available to slim down, while the one who considers herself too slim wants to take all the supplements known to be able to add more flesh.

We all struggle with these things, all-be-it in different proportion, so breath a lot better knowing it isn't just you who doesn't like her flappy arms or her wide nose.

Some of us have only decided to no longer dwell too much to on the things we can not change.

2. Stay Off Your Insecurities Booster.

You know those things that fuel your insecurities, those things or people that make you look like trash in your own eyes.

Stay off such.

If those things are prevalent in some environments, desist from going to such environment at least for a while.

 If yours is a case of people who are fond of fuelling your insecurities, those who derive pleasure in calling you demeaning names, start minimizing your association with them until you are in a much better place mentally.

1.       3. See Yourself Through The Father's Eyes

Have you ever thought about how God sees you?

While others might be seeing a girl who isn't beautiful, how does God sees you?

While others might be seeing a girl who isn't so smart and has to be taught a thing over and over before she can grasp it, how does God sees you?

While others might be seeing a girl who isn't going anywhere worthwhile in life, how does God sees you?

You are wonderful and fearfully made. 

God makes no mistakes and in his eyes, you are perfect just as you are, believe it.

You have everything that makes you uniquely you in the right proportion. God is a master designer.

 4. Let Your Self-Worth Be In God

This is  the similar to the previous point but it's slightly different.

As you see yourself as the Father sees you, you have to make sure that your Identity is in him too.

Remember, it is in Him we live, move and have our being.

I wrote in a recent post how your job, marital status et. al shouldn't be the one determining how you feel, the best form of Identity isn't taken from how good-looking your spouse is or how well behaved your child is, or the kind of car you drive, or you'd job title.

All of that is good, but they are all fleeting, here today, can be gone tomorrow. One thing is sure to remain. 

The fact that you're a child of God.

 Let that be the greatest identity you have...

Let nothing shake you anymore, you are the beloved child of the Father.

There is so much light.