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Faith Fiction Relationships Review

Abimbola Writes




Hiya BlogFam,

Trust we are all doing great and following hard after all the Lord has placed in our hearts.

A big apology for missing in action last week Thursday, it was not deliberate, I went on an unplanned leave at work, and I had to soft-pedal and fully REST. 

For me, it has been a great year in all shades, I have hit rock bottom and climbed to a great height, all in one year. This year is certainly one I would not forget in a hurry. In fact, it is a year I can never forget while I am here on this side of eternity.

This is to let you know that this will be the last official post on this Blog for the year 2021.

A big Thank You to everyone who has read one post or the other on the Blog this year, I trust that you have been blessed, inspired and you have learnt a lesson or two to help you as you go through life.

To those who regularly read from the Blog every Thursday, Thank You.

To everyone who do not read every Thursday, but once they come here, they read up on every Blogpost they have missed, I say Thank You too.

As the year 2021 is finally wrapping up, I encourage to take a few days or even a week if you can to just sit still and see what has worked in this year and what has not.

Before we know it, another new year will be upon us, you do not want that new year to catch you unawares, so please, by all means, take time off and go away to a place. 

If you can find the solitude you require in your home, that's great, and if you need to go somewhere else to find it, by all means do. Take time off the hustle-bustle of this world and just breathe.

Thank you so much for coming on this journey with me in 2021, cheers to more transforming contents in 2022 as the Lord wills. 

I'll resume Blogging here by January 20th, 2022. It feels surreal that I am already writing 2022 as a date, trust that we are kept alive by the Lord till then and beyond. 

Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance.

THANK YOU AND SEE YOU IN 2022 BY GOD'S GRACE.


There is so much light*** 



November 18, 2021 No comments






Hey Blog Fam,

 

Trust we are all doing great and following hard after all that the Lord has placed in our hearts.


About two years ago, I had a skin reaction that had me visiting a dermatologist or those we all know as a skin therapist.


I complained to her about the blemish on my skin, she asked some questions and I gave her the answers she needed, after which she brought out some products for me and placed me on a regimen.

A regimen is any regulation or remedy which is intended to produce beneficial effects by gradual operation.


It was funny when she told me the things I needed to do, which included taking my bath at least twice a day and making sure I applied the skin products on my body at specific times.

My visit to that dermatologist had me thinking, I started asking myself questions;


Bimbo, do you take care of your spirit this well?

While I am not against looking good on the outside but is the spirit, the very core of our being looking as good as we are on the outside?

For the duration when I was on that regimen, I was very meticulous about following through on everything I was told to do, and I further asked myself, this got me asking myself another question, Bimbo, do you always follow through on all the instructions God gives you?


Some people can take their bath twice, apply skin products on the body morning and night but never care to open their bible in a day because we claim we are busy.

I know how busy life can be and especially if you are working in a place like Lagos, Nigeria where I currently live, then the level at which you have so much on your plate is on another cadre, but regardless of your location, if God is your priority in life, you will make room for him.


The goal of this post is to ensure you do not only remember to pray, worship, or study the bible once in a blue moon, but to make these spiritual disciplines a part of your everyday life.


So how do you craft out a regimen for your spiritual life amidst all the noise around?



1. Be Committed To Talking To God Daily

 

There is emphasis is on the word daily. This can be either in the morning or at night, or the hours in between.

 

It is so easy that amidst the hustle-bustle of life, you can wake up one day to discover that you have not prayed in a month, while praying or studying the word is not what we do only to be able to tick it off our to-do list that at least I have done this, but it is so essential for us to do.


Read: HOW TO GET BACK TO PRAYING AFTER A LONG BREAK


 

Commit to talking to Jesus every single day, and while you can talk to him as you go about other tasks but ensure that you do not only do it during your leisure, intentionally create out time for God.



2. Take Prayer Breaks


 I learned this in one of the threshing house online programs, while you're working, you can take out a minute or two and pray under your breath.

 

You might not be able to take out time from the time you are going about your duties to pray, but let nothing stop you from praying even as you work.

 

As you move from one task to another, talk to God.


Read: PRACTICAL TIPS ON HOW TO HAVE A CONSISTENT PRAYER LIFE


 

You can even create cues around your life that will see that this comes to be, for example, your cue might be anytime you are on the staircase, you will pray, or yours might be anytime I tick off a task on my to-do list, I will pray.

 

Five minutes here, ten minutes there.

 

In anything you do, please take prayer breaks.

 


3. Sing Songs At intervals

Oh!

My HR used to do this a lot of the time.

 

Just let a song start from inside you and sing it unto God.

 

It does not have to be planned, learn to sing a spontaneous song to the lord as often as you can every day.

Build singing of songs into your spiritual regimen.

 


4. Go On Retreats As Often As You Can

Personal or general, just try as much as possible to get the noise around you as often as you can.

 

It doesn't have to be expensive, just create a system that works for you. It might be a 24-hour retreat in your room, or a three-day retreat at a camp. Not every weekend is for owambe, intentionally create out time for your spiritual life.

 



5. Have Solid Friends

Your inner circle of friends should consist of people who can stir up your love for God.

 

People whom you can chat with and within five minutes and the next thing you want to do is pray.

 

If you don’t have friends like that, pray them into your life, and as you are doing that, look around your current circle of friends, there just might be one of them that can come into your core and you can both serve as a catalyst to inspire each other in this faith walk.

 

We all need a community of friends.

 

These are my 5 tips that you can incorporate to supercharge your spiritual life.

 

That we all know may know Him…

 

See you next Thursday.

 

 

There Is So Much Light***

 




 

November 04, 2021 No comments





Click here to read Part 1

Click here to read Part 2 


Hey Blog Fam,

Trust you are all doing great and following hard after all that the Lord has placed in your heart to do.

Today's post is the final part of the review of a relationship book written by two couples; David & Claudia Arp and Curt & Natelle Brown.

So, let's move to Date Nine & Date Ten which will be the focus for today's review.


Date Nine: Developing Spiritual Intimacy

This date is for you to talk about your relationship with the Lord and everything related to your spiritual life because this is the foundation on which every other thing rests. Although you and your partner are expected to be pursuing Jesus as individuals, it is also of utmost importance for both parties to be pursuing Jesus together.

Challenges are not meant to draw you and your partner away from God but to bring you more closer to him. Your relationship with God is not to be a passive experience, it is supposed to be soooo active, you need to be able to give building a solid relationship with Jesus all it will demand of you.

You and your partner have to ask yourselves if you are from the same spiritual background, by spiritual background, I don’t mean if you attend the same church because you can attend the same church and yet be of different spiritual background. Your spiritual background comprises of the doctrines you hold dear, your belief, and ideologies, you want to make sure all of these are the same, and if not what are those things that are different, and how do you both intend to compromise when you become a couple.

Praying together also makes so much difference, it even makes your relationship/marriage highly romantic sef. According to statistics, if you pray together, you are less likely to divorce, you’ll have a higher level of satisfaction and a higher level of commitment. Statistics have also proven that developing a shared belief system is central to having a healthy sexual relationship. There is so much good is embedded in prayer!

Spiritual intimacy means emotional closeness with God, and as you both seek the Lord together, this also contributes to emotional closeness with each other.

Love should be unconditional, not based on any condition, just like the way the love of Christ is. Forgiveness is also very essential in this, forgive and love just as Christ has forgiven you.

You are to accept your partner with all his/her strengths and weakness, both of these is what makes the total package of the person you love. It comes together. 

You can not claim to love the beautiful lady while disregarding that her weakness is she does not love to hand-wash clothes. Not at all, you are to accept both the strength and weakness. And when talking about weakness, be very mindful of the kind of weakness you accept, don't accept one that is centered on any form of abuse. Stay clear of an abusive partner. 

Marriage is to be entered with a servant heart where both partners are committed to serving each other. 

A few months back, I heard a member of my church say 'do not marry someone you can not serve'. And I consider this statement very profound. If you don't see yourself serving your partner, then you might want to soft-pedal on making a marital commitment because marriage as an institution is founded on sacrifice!

Asides from serving each other, you should also be ready to serve the world too, no matter how small, be sure to make an impact from your own little corner of the world. 

You and your partner do not have to wait until after I do to serve, you can be a blessing to the lives of others together even from your courting days. There are a lot of ways to do this, you can choose to volunteer in an outreach, pull funds together and support a project, and the list continues.



Date Ten- Choosing An Intentional Marriage

Marriage remains a creative effort on the part of those who enter it.

A beautiful marriage doesn't just happen, it takes the collective effort of both parties in it. 

Ever asked yourself, how involved you will want to be in the life of your spouse? The best choice here is the maximum involvement style where both partners are fully involved in each other's life. 

Even as you have plans to be fully involved in each other's life, also be ready to give each other grace too, knowing full well that seasons differ, and while you might both want to be actively involved in each other's lives at all times, some seasons might be on 100%, and other times, just 30%, but you should both agree on what is possible and obtainable in every season.

You and your partner should also deliberately choose to make time for each other, it is a deliberate choice that you have to make, and you both have to be careful of the things you are saying Yes to, because for everything you say Yes to, you are automatically saying No to something else, and you want to be sure that something else is not your partner. 

There will be exemptions where you will have to say Yes to some things even when it will mean spending less time with your partner, let this be the exemption and not the norm. For every Yes, make sure you understand the impact it will have on your relationship, your relationship should not suffer because of your other commitments.

 Progress and consistency is the watchword here.

.

.

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This is the end of this review, the book was such a great resource.

See you next week Thursday!


There Is So Much Light***

October 28, 2021 No comments

 




Click here to read Part 1


Hey Blog Fam,

Trust you are all doing great and following hard after all that the Lord has placed in your heart to do.


Today's post is the continuation of the review of a relationship book written by two couples; David & Claudia Arp and Curt & Natelle Brown.


So, let's move to Date Six - Date Eight which will be the focus for today's review.



Date Six – Leaving And Cleaving

The anchor scripture for this chapter was Genesis 2:24: "therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh."

After marriage, the lady’s place will no longer be at her parent’s side, but at the man’s side, and vice versa too. While this is not to say that the couple will not have a loving relationship with their parents once they get married, it just shows that at every point in time, they are both to know where their loyalty lies. 

After marriage, the first human priority of each partner is to be the other, every other person is meant to take the second position. 

Parents meddling into the affairs of the couple is a concept that should be strongly frowned at, their place after marriage is to be beside the couple and not in between them. While this is not to talk down on the counsel of elders, of course not, but the couple must know where to draw the line.

Questions on responsibilities and the culture that were seen in the house of each partner must also be discussed, because to a large extent, what is the norm in the family of origin can be seen as what is obtainable everywhere else, and if it is not discussed, it can pose a problem in the marriage.

Beyond physically leaving home, there has to be a re-pioritization that must occur mentally. 

It is also adviseable to discuss the plan on how involved friends will be in your relationship, same sex friendship and friends of the opposite sex. How far will be too far to go with any friend? What are you not going to feel comfortable that your partner is discussing with a friend? How will you react if I tell you to stop going out with a particular friend, will you think I am too jealous? Please ask these questions.

Cleaving is a commitment that goes beyond just staying together with someone in the same room. It is becoming one in spirit, soul and body. Two whole human being, becoming one. This is the goal.

Even after marriage and the children start coming, partners are still expected to date themselves.

 

Date Seven – Celebrating Intimacy

This chapter talks about sexual intimacy, and if you are a courting couple, you might have to off mic a couple of times (except if you are getting married anytime soon).

To keep intimacy going in the marriage relationship will not be a walk in the park, it will entail being very deliberate because amidst all the hustle bustle of life, the temptation to let go of your partner will increase, but that temptation must not be yielded to.

Intimacy will not happen naturally all of the time, maybe, maybe not, work has to continually be on it to make it a priority.

There are other sides of love that are not sexual but emotional, like hugs, touches here and there, partners should be as generous as possible with this emotional bonding in the marriage.

Trusting that your partner wants the best for you is also an essential element here, because when you feel a level of trust, then and only then will you be able to maintain a state of utmost vulnerability with each other.

Amidst all going on in the world, the relationship must always remain a priority, and honesty when communicating must also be practiced.

Children, as great as they are in a family can also affect intimacy negatively if not monitored, plans should be made to ensure the children stand beside and not between the partners, just like the parents of the couple.

Partner’s private time should always be protected and you are expected to pray together. 

Sex and marriage are inseperable, and singles hoping to get married one day had better start re-coditioning their mind to accept this truth. It is what it is.

Discussion should also be made on each partner’s expectations as it relates to sexual fantasies.

Tips for newly married;

-          Become learners

-          Become explorers

-          Become other-centered (and not just you-centered)

Having a love life saver is also essential, this concept  states that you and your partner are to have a day of the week when just you and your partner get to hang out without the kids just for bounding sake.

Nothing happens by chance, and it is the same for the sexual life of a married couple, and you are both to mentally prepare to intentionally make time for your sexual life.

 


Date Eight- Realizing Roles And Planing For Family

This chapter was focused on what the partners idea is as it relates to roles that each person will be expected to play as well as planning the family.

One of the topics under discuss here will be division of household task, and you'll agree that this is such an essential point. Division of household task is strongly related to couple satisfaction, because happy couples makes decisions jointly and to allocate household chores based on interest and skill rather than traditional roles.

In dividing roles in the house especially domestic affairs, the questions to answer includes;

-          Who likes doing what task?

-          Who is best with this task?

Anyone who ticks these boxes can then take up the responsibility. The goal is not to be a traditional family where it is a certain gender that cooks, while the other gender provides, roles are now being shared on who is available and likes doing it better, and who can perform at that moment.

Does this mean that the other party who doesn’t like doing a specific task will not do it if necessary, of course not, it only shows that the person who likes a particular task more will get to do it more often. And remember, you and your partner are a team, and the ultimate is playing to win, regardless of who is paying in the offense or defense. 

Just win.

You might want to discuss these responsibilities with your partner and agree on who is supposed to do what so you are both on the same page. 

This list of responsibilities can serve as a guide;

-          Paying of rent/mortgage

-          Cook meals

-         Fix minor faults in the home and call for professional help when necessary

-          Wash clothes

-          Help kids with assignment

-          Buy foodstuff

All the responsibilies has to be done, but there are times when both partners might not be ready to do it, in this case, compromise will have to come to play. Who does what is not as important as the philosophy of sharing the load together and both partners being happy.

Many couples get into roles only based on what was modeled to them from their family of origin, while this is not bad in itself, but you have to make sure it fits into your own family’s peculiarities.

When it comes to family planning, discuss on this, how many children do you intend to have and what age gap do you intend putting in between them?

You have to also determine what having children means to you? 

For some, it can be a way of populating the earth, for another, it might mean being trusted by God to raise a child for Him. Know what having children  means to you and your partner.

 

So this is the review of chapter six – eight, the review of chapter 9 and 10 will be published next week.

See ya on Thursday.

 

There Is So Much Light***

 

 

October 21, 2021 No comments













Hey Blog Fam,

Trust you are all doing great and following hard after all that the Lord has placed in your heart o do.

Today's post is a review of a relationship book written by two couples; David & Claudia Arp and Curt & Natelle Brown.

If you are in a relationship, I believe that you know one of those things for you to do is to read books together. While it is expected that you both are all out on personal development through the reading of books, but it is also important to read great books together, especially as it relates to your life together in no distant future.

This book has ten dates that you are meant to read personally and then review together.

I have read this book, so permit me to take you through the 10 Dates in this book. 


Date 1 - Sharing Hopes, Dreams & Expectations

This date was about discussing what your individual fantasies/expectations are, this is so that you and your partner can be on the same page and you won’t have to deal with the ‘what I ordered versus what I get’ kinda thing.

Expectations are mostly shaped from what you see portrayed to us by our parents/guardians and while those realities in and of themselves are not wrong, but they should be talked about so that you can see where the other person is coming from and how best you can both fit into each other’s lives.

For example, Loveth the wife-to-be didn’t have a father who was domesticated, but she is looking forward to her man being more involved in the home, while Dayo the husband-to-be is looking forward to a woman who will be a homemaker and who will delight in cooking at every point in time even without his help.

You can already imagine what these two individuals will go through if this expectation is not discussed during the relationship phase.


 

Date 2 – Appreciating Our Differences

Loveth and Dayo are two different people and while they are on their way to becoming one, they still can not neglect the fact that they are two distinct individuals.

From gender differences to personality differences, there is a lot to walk through, and it is the way these differences are handled that matters and not the differences themselves.

Building a great relationship together with your significant other is not just about the fact that you will not have differences but how well you use those differences.

In places where your partner is weak, you are to be his strength and in the places where you are weak, your partner is to be your strength even as you both draw strength from God. 

Understanding and appreciating your differences will ensure that you are forming a healthy partnership and working towards the same goal, as you are to see yourselves as a team always.


 

Date 3 – Communicating & Connecting

This chapter teaches how best to communicate, by stating out the three patterns of communication, which are;

-        Chatting- This is talking about everything except the matter on ground. It is a method of communication used when you and your partner are both trying to not talk about the important issue on ground.

-        Confronting –This is similar to attacking your partner. Begining any statement with the word ‘you’ is a sure way of attacking. E.g, 'you always come late' is an attack.

-       Connecting- This is being vulnerable enough to share your innermost thoughts with your partner.

To communicate well, rather than attacking your partner, you can use the feeling formula by stating how you feel without attacking your partner. E.g, I feel you don’t care about me by coming late when we have a date. This is less of an attack and more of you wanting to connect with your partner.

Listening more is also a way to communicate, and listening is beyond just waiting for your turn to speak, it is hearing both what is said and the feelings involved.

You should learn to deliberately listen for the total message and not just what you want to hear, the total message involves the words (which is 7%), tone of voice (which is 38%), and non-verbal ( which is 55%).

 


Date 4 – Solving Problems As A Couple

The anchor scripture for this date was James 1:19

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

Conflict resolution is such an essential part of your love life because you will definitely step on each other's toes once in a while.

The various ways to handle conflict as stated in the book includes;

-       * The turtle; who is the partner who withdraws whenever there is any conflict

-      * The skunk; who is the attacker whenever there is any conflict

-     * The chameleon; Who is the yielder, this yielding is not as a result of wanting peace, but to avoid saying your mind

-    * The Beaver; this is the partner who always wants to avoid trouble. But truth be told, in a relationship, you both need to disagree to agree most of the time.

-      * The Owl; this is the seemingly intellectual partner who thinks he/she has to intellectually decipher what the challenge is

-       * The Gorilla; this is the partner who always wants to win regardless of how the partner feels


Look through your life and that of your partner and see which of these traits you identify with.

The best choice to make during conflict is to have a sense that you and your partner are a team who are working together against the problem rather than having the thought that your partner is the problem and you are working against him/her. The mindset should always be that it is the two of you against whatever comes.

There will be some conflicts that will be a one-off; your partner traveling without mentioning it as a result of oversight, and there will be others that will be perpetual like your preference for a hot/warm place while your partner loves cold places. Conflicts are to be handled with wisdom and compromise.

In solving problems, you are to be willing to;

·         Give the gift of love (show your love to your partner by choosing to let go. This is an active decision you are to make)

·         Gift of individuality ( which is the gift of yourself)

·         Gift of compromise (the question who needs this more between my partner and I will help you know who should give this gift)

 


Date 5 – Managing Your Money

We all know how important money is both as individuals and as a couple.

This date helps address the differences between your different backgrounds as it relates to money.

Loveth family was a semi penny-pinching home, while Dayo’s family belongs to those who love spending money, they believe, what is the essence of making money if we can’t spend it? Money is meant to be spent, right? Not talking about money for this couple could spell doom in their marriage as Loveth would constantly see Dayo as a spendthrift while Dayo would see Loveth as a lady who does not like to enjoy the baby girl life. 

It is also important to discuss the assets and liabilities each partner is bringing into the relationship.

According to statistics, money is usually a major challenge in the early years of marriage, but with proper discussion, planning, and praying, you and your partner can scale through this and not join the majority.

Some measures are given in the book to ensure that there is no money wahala in the future includes;

-          - Always live below your means as a couple

-         - Never spend all you make on frivolities

-         - You and your partner are to create a budget to accommodate your needs and a little extra for your wants too.

Another point worthy of note here is to clarify if you will have a joint account, or each person will hold on to their own accounts and only pull resources together to spend on major projects.

That is all for today's post, we will continue with Date 6- Date 10 next week.

Do try to discuss the above points of discussions with your partner during your discussions, you'll be glad you did.


See you next Thursday.

 

There is so much light***


Related: HELP, I AM OLDER THAN THE MAN WHO PROPOSED TO ME

              WHAT A GODLY WOMAN LOOKS FOR IN A GODLY MAN + ANSWErs



October 14, 2021 No comments





Hey Blog Fam,

Trust you are doing great and following hard after all the things God has placed in your hearts.

So in today’s post, I have something I consider extremely interesting to talk to you about.

I am sure you can guess from the title that it’s about money, I can almost see you smiling.

Yes, just the thought of money makes everyone one smile.

I once saw a meme that there is a particular workout that burns fat and reduces stress and makes headaches vanish, and guess what those meme-makers called that powerful workout? Counting money!

While that meme must have been a little extreme because there are clearly some things money can’t do, but please let’s be sincere, money is such a good thing.

God himself endorses our being in abundance by stating it again and again in the scriptures.

Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. 3 John 1:1-2 KJV 

 

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake, he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich. 2 Corinthians 8:9 ESV

For it is He Who gives you power to get wealth. Deuteronomy 8:18 AMPC


All of the above scriptures and more all through scripture points to one truth; God wants us to prosper, He is very much interested in our living in abundance although not at the detriment of our soul.

As a newly employed graduate who was fresh out of the university, one thing was always on my mind from the word go, how I did not want to live from paycheck‐to‐paycheck and how I wanted that at some point in my life, I would no longer have to actively work only because I want to put food on my table/pay my bills, while it might be a good place to start, but the end goal should be beyond that.

My reasons though honorable, were definitely not going to just come to pass because I wish so, I must be ready to put in the work, which I have and still putting in building my finances,  but then today’s post is not about you working, it’s about you asking yourself a Big Question.


WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF YOU LOSE/RESIGN FROM YOUR JOB TOMORROW?


This post is being published on a Thursday.

Let’s say you get to your office tomorrow, and your MD/CEO calls an emergency meeting to inform all members of staff that the company is not doing well and so needs to downsize and then calls out some name and then you find your name on that list.

For about 70% of those reading this, I know your typical response is most likely to be a God forbid.

I also join my faith with yours and forbid it too.

Even if you do not get a call to attend an emergency meeting like the example cited, how about if you have to resign from your job tomorrow, because you are relocating from one town to the other, health reasons or any other reason?

Have you ever thought of the possibility of the two scenarios?

What if something happens in your seemingly important department today thereby rendering the department redundant and your services then seem to no longer be needed.

What are you going to do?

I know it’s so typical to think that this can never be your portion, I am a Christian and I know how quick we are to say God forbid, but then have you ever thought of that?

This question is not scare you but gets you thinking.

I see this happen all the time, you might have a job today and because you are not performing as you ought, you can get fired and that will be the end of it.

Even if you work in a sector where you feel is secured, but can you just look past that security and think of this possibility?

This post is to trigger you to go back to make plans.

It’s time to ask the hard questions.


1.     1. Have You Been Spending More Than You Earn?

E    This is such an important question to ask yourself.

No matter how much you currently earn, if you are always spending way above what is coming into your account every month, it is almost impossible for you to break even.

Reflect on the things you have spent money on in the last one-three months, and see for yourself where your money is going.


2. Does Your Savings Match Your Current Income?

Mr sola earns 600,000 per month and only saves 150,000 at the end of each month, while Mr Nonso earns 300,000 per month but saves 150,000. 

By looking at the figures, you might feel that Mr Sola is saving the same asMr Nonso, but that is not true, when you look at the figures Mr Sola and Mr Nonso are saying in proportion with their salary, you’ll realize that while Mr Sola is saving 25% of his salary while Mr Nonso is saving 50% of his income. The goal of this example is to help you put aside the sum of money that is commensurate with your income. 

This is not to put a certain ratio on the amount that each individual should save pay time, but you know your current situation and how much you can afford to save each month. To thy own self, be true.

We are not going to talk about investing in this post, because savings is the foundation on which investment is built, except f course if you decide to borrow to invest. I shared a little about investment which you can read here

3 'DON'TS' TO BRING YOU CLOSER TO YOUR MONEY GOALS


 

3.    3. What Do You Spend On?

Yes, this is a big question that by all means needs answering.

If you buy things only because you feel you can afford them rather than if you have a genuine need for them or if you really need to have them, then now might be the right tie to sit down and have a pep talk with yourself.

You do not have to buy everything that you like.

It’s okay to look at things, genuinely like them, move close to them, hold them in your hands if possible and afterward drop them if your current pocket does can not afford them.

For example, let’s say you earn 200k per month, after tax and pension, it brings to about 175k, after tithe, savings, love gifts to people, fuel/t-fare, and other necessities, you are then left with 45,000 to work with for the month.

Then you go out with your guys for an outing, and suddenly sees the black shoes that look like what your life really needs at the moment, and how it will definitely take your office fashion game to the next level. But what price is on the tag?

45,000.

Can you afford it? Yes, because you have that disposable cash in the bank

But the question should not be, can you afford it, it should be should you purchase it?

The questions are different, the fact that you can afford an item does not automatically mean you should purchase it. Rather than trying to keep up with the Joneses, cut back on as many things as you can and only purchase or spend money on things that you consider important. 

One grand rule here is to find out what is really important to you which you are willing to spend money on, and then cut back on all those other purchases that are not so important to you, or that your budget can not accommodate at least for now.

I learned this from a wise woman, the fact that you say no to something now (purchasing an item), does not mean no forever.

You are only making sure if anything happens to your job, you can still keep on living without running from pillar to post, or so you do not stay in a toxic work environment just because of the money.

I hope with these few points I have been able to convince and not to confuse you that the fact that you have a job does not mean you should not plan for the rainy days.

Remember this personal finance journey is not a 100-meters race, it is a marathon. All you have to do is to concentrate on putting one leg after the other while running as well as create more structures for yourself as you proceed. We will talk about those structures in another post soon. 

In summary, ask yourself these questions;

Have you been spending more than you earn?

Does your savings match your current income?

What Do You Spend On?


There is so much light***


Related; 

5 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU QUIT YOUR JOB

PERSONAL FINANCE; DO I NEED TO EARN MORE TO SAVE MORE?




 

 

October 07, 2021 No comments

 



Hey BlogFam,

Trust we are all doing great and following hard after all that the Lord has placed in our hearts.

So in today’s post, I’ll be sharing my top 5  faith-based blogs, these are blogs I have actively read from for a minimum of a year and there are others that have gone past the one-year mark, all in all, you'll find these Blogs highly resourceful.

The list does not contain only bloggers who blog about scriptures alone, but even those who writes stories, shares relationship tips, posts fashion-related advice and even teaches us how to be a great mom.

Permit me ahead because all my favorite faith-based bloggers are female, if I do find a faith-based blogger who I love and who happens to be a male, trust me to update this list.

So without any further ado, let’s jump right into this list.

 

1.     1.  Eziaha Blog

This Blog is not just a Blog, it is literally a university on its own (for a lack of a better word), I have been reading posts from this Blog for over one year now, and it has been such a wonderful experience. The fact that this woman has been blogging for the past 8 years takes it a notch higher.

Gosh!

This is such a rich blog, and you know I love bringing the knowledge I have to you my Blog family, and that is why I am sharing this Blog with you.

Do check out her Blog. You don’t need to thank me, what are friends for? 😀

EZIAHA.COM


 

2.    2.  Ife Grace Blog

This is our own Nigerian Francine Rivers.

This lady has a thing with weaving stories that goes beyond just the skill of putting words together which she has obviously mastered, but she definitely has a deep relationship with God which is so evident in her Blog and the stories she publishes there.

On the Blog, there are not only stories, but different articles on the Blog for your development; both spiritual and otherwise.

I have been following this following for over two years and it has been such a beautiful experience.

Do well to head on to that blog, you’ll be glad you did.

IFEGRACE.COM

 

3.     3.  Stay-At-Home-Mom Blog

This Blog also is run by the first blogger mentioned; Eziaha.

If you are a woman, either a stay at home mom or not, this Blog is filled with so many resources for your growth even as you are a wife to your husband and a mother to your child(ren). She calls these moms Domestic Queens, and aren't they queens indeed. The man is the king and that makes the woman the queen of the kingdom.

Being a wife of over 7 years herself, and a mother to two boys, she generously shares the things she is learning as both a wife and a mother with the hope that her readers will learn a thing or two from her posts, and if you read well enough, you definitely will learn more than a thing or two!

If you are a single lady like me, you can still visit the Blog and keep learning from the wealth of experience, so that when you do get the ring, you can hit the ground running being fully armed with the right knowledge.

She is faith-based, and all the articles published on the Blog are birthed from her love for Jesus and her relationship with Him.

STAYHOMEMOMS.NG


 

4.      4.   Dupe’s Blog

This is another faith-based Blog run by a blogger named; Modupe.

I also have been following this blog for about two years now, and while I have not been seeing her publish new posts in recent times, she has really been consistent over the years and there are so many resources for you to learn from.

LIFESTYLEBYMO.COM



5.     5.   Amaka Media

I love this Blog, and while I have no personal relationship with the Blogger, I have been tremendously blessed and helped by her Blog. I have followed this Blog for over one year now.

She blogs about faith, fashion, relationship, lifestyle, her marriage, and recently her journey to motherhood.

It was from this Blog I learnt some tips about fashion too as she is a fashionista and it shows through her Blog.

You’ll have a great time on her Blog too.

AMAKAMEDIA.COM

 

There you have it, my five favorite faith-based Blogs.

I do hope you will have a great time reading from the Blogs.

 


BONUS POST

If you live in Nigeria like me, then you have what I consider a free day tomorrow. Our country will be celebrating her 61st year since she got her independence.

On your own way to getting your own independence, please ensure that the day doesn’t just go like that.

Please have a list of the things you can tick off after the day is over.

Even if your plan is to stay Netflix and chill, still write Netflix and chill on your plan, and have the title of the movies you intend to watch. Whatever you do, just plan.

This is what my list for tomorrow looks like.






This public holiday has been approved unlike this one that wasn’t approved which I shared the experience here.


A LESSON FROM MY PUBLIC HOLIDAY EXPERIENCE


You can tell I am so excited about tomorrow, and I sincerely can’t wait for the day to begin!

Shout out to all the health workers who will still be at work tomorrow as well as those doing professional courses who still have to attend class tomorrow. Our hearts are with you.


See you next week Thursday...


There is so much Light***


 

September 30, 2021 No comments
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