What I Learnt From The Lady, Her Lover, And Her Lord By T.D Jakes

by - November 26, 2020


This is one book I think everyone should read.

I wrote in a post some months back about how I read this book as a 100 level undergraduate in the university, and how after that I still went ahead to buy it during my NYSC year, you can read that post here

I had thoroughly read that book, but then recently, this month to be precise, I found my heart been stirred to read this book all over again, this is not because I don’t have other books to read, but I just knew it in my knower that this is one book I should be reading and I am grateful, I didn’t miss this season.

At a point during my reading, I got to a point where I felt that this book is not just for ladies, but even for men too. So if you are a man reading this, you might want to get a copy.

Below are some of the lessons I learnt from the book.

1.       1. Learn To Have A Great Life Going By Yourself

This is the lady part, where you spend enough time by yourself to be able to get to know exactly who you are on the inside.

The author calls it, singing a solo on your own so that when another voice joins, it will only create a lovely harmony.

While it will be great to have a beautiful duet, make sure you have enough going as a lady on your own, because that will even help you realize whom you will need to bring on board.


2.       2. Learn To Handle All Seasons Of Your Life

Life is in seasons.

Just like it is in the natural, there will be spring when everything is getting busy, and then summer when it becomes overly busy with a whole lot of things to do, and then by fall, your responsibilities starts getting reduced and then by winter, you’ll finally sit on your chair and wish you had more to do.

To think that there will be a time as the fall is amazing, but before then, get busy.

3.       3. There is more to being a lady than being female

I found this statement extremely profound.

While every girl child never choose to be a female, but being a lady is by choice and we can choose to be one.

I know there are already 1001 rules that you must abide by if you are a lady, but beyond those rules, be an oasis; someone that provides refuge, relief or a pleasant contrast, be an haven where people can come into and be feel safe. A lot of bad things is going on in today's world already.

Be the different one.

4.       4. Give Equal Attention To All Parts Of Your Life

This is a prerequisite to becoming a balanced and total individual.

Giving attention to all parts of your life means you are not tipping on this side or the other, but all sides are being maintained and are operating maximally.

While this might seem like a lot to do, but then, with the right structures in place, you’ll begin to see that every aspect of your life is moving towards a desired direction.

5.       5. There is An Advantage That Singleness Gives You

The quality of the married lady that you will be is directly proportional to the quality of the single lady that you presently are.

It is a good thing to be married as you now have someone who is committed to be on your team for life, but before you get joined to that significant other, the period in between is a great one.

In the author’s words

‘… But it is the single woman who has time to develop true spirituality. She is not encumbered with the concerns of children or mate…’

Been married is a great thing, but it does come with a level of responsibility of taking care of a husband and children, and while that isn’t bad in itself, but the married lady’s attention is now shared between equally important activities which isn’t so with the single lady.

If you’re single, now isn’t the time to cry that there is no ring on your finger but to use is pursuing your God-given dreams, whatever that is.

This is a time to strengthen your self on several different levels.

This is a time to strengthen your economy, your spirituality and your personality.

Each area needs to be strengthened so that you can clearly discern, when offers comes, whether you are in love or in need.

Singleness is an advantage, use it well.


I believe I have done my best in stirring your heart to read this book if you haven’t.

Have you read the book, what did you gain?

I look forward to reading your comments.


So Much Light!

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