Practical Tips For A Healthy Self-Esteem

by - August 06, 2020

I wish I didn’t have to talk about this, but it is so real.

The statistics shows that eight out of every ten person you meet have a low self esteem, this shows that low self-esteem is a challenge most people battle with.

There is a thin line between having a low self-esteem, having a healthy self-esteem and being proud.

The middle phase is a good place to be, while the other two are the extremes.

This self-esteem issue is gotten from different situations, for some, it is as a result of their upbringing, or the kind of home they grew up in, this kind of upbringing has now conditioned them that although they are no longer in that situation they were several years ago, they can’t seem to move away from there in their mind.

All of these although happened a long time from the present are not things that can just be easily erased except if conscious steps are taken to overcome it. For some, some of those experiences that helped shaped their mindset and view of themselves happened 10, 20, 30, even 50 years ago. Yes, don’t be surprised that some older adults have this issue too.

Jude is a young man who grew up in a family of four, theirs was just an average family where although they didn’t have things in abundance, but they never lacked the basic things. He grew up having his classmates laugh at his school uniform which always looked more faded than his mates and he grew up always having a kind of consciousness that he was disadvantaged and that really shaped the way he saw himself.

Fast forward to twenty years later, he is thirty-four and still stuck in the happenings of his past, and while he is quite comfortable than his parents ever were, he still feels a little tingle in his heart when he is told to go represent his company at national events and know begins to do things and acquire things just to prove a point to anyone who cares to know that he isn’t the same disadvantaged boy that he was several years back.


Pointers To A Low Self-Esteem

You Are Usually Not Free To Talk In The Open

Some put this up to shyness a lot of time, but when you introspect, you’ll be able to tell if you are just being shy or you are small in your own eyes.


You Buy The Things You Don’t Need To Make An Impression

One of the pointers for you to know if you are battling with low self-esteem is if you are always buying the things you don’t need to just create a false image about yourself.

While buying of things is not the main point, but it only serves as a cover up for what the real issue is, people like this would constantly think that by acquiring things, they will start feeling good and that those things they are buying will go a long way to boosting how they appear in the sight of others and in turn make them feel good, while this is true, but it is only true to a point, buying of things as a means of feeling good is only a cycle, because as much as you buy a piece of item, after few hours, days, weeks or months, another upgraded or more beautiful version of what you bought would be in circulation and then you will be forced to buy that too, and then before you say jack, another product is out, and the cycle continues.


Way Out

Get Knowledge

One of the reasons why you might be feeling like a fish out of the water in a gathering is because you don’t have enough knowledge about the topic in discuss, while this might not be entirely true as there are people who have the head knowledge about a certain theme but still doesn’t know how to communicate it. But, let’s start from this point first. Get knowledge, this will go in a great way in improving how you begin to see yourself.

A good way to start might be reading books, listening to podcast, watching videos that are tailored towards that need as well as just doing anything that is due to bring you out from the seemingly pit that you are in.

A note of caution here, you might discover that the more knowledgeable you are getting, the more pride begins to find root in your heart, do not give this a chance. Do not let your knowledge drive you towards pride. The goal is for you to have a healthy sense of esteem.


Constantly Say Words Of Affirmation To Yourself

If no one will affirm you, you owe yourself the duty of affirming yourself.

It isn’t just enough to hate how you feel when you are around people, but you constantly have to renew your mind by speaking to yourself.

You might think this doesn’t work, but it does.

Rather than agreeing to yourself that you are worthless, start telling yourself you are valuable.

If you can, write on sticky notes around your room or where you are most likely to see it and let it sink into your sub-consciousness and before you know it, you will begin to feel better.

Words like;

I am beautiful

I have a creative mind

I am in a good place

All things are working for my good

It is all working perfectly

Good things answers to me…

Create others and constantly say them to yourself.


Limit Your Exposure To The Social Media

As much as social media is a good thing, it has also been the cause why people feel bad about themselves, especially if you do not have a healthy self-esteem.

If you are constantly scrolling through feeds, you will begin to see pictures of the life others are living, and if you are not in a good place mentally, it is only a matter of time before you begin to feel less of who you are and then you’ll begin to compare your life’s  journey to the life of the random person you see online.

If you are still struggling with low self-esteem, limit your exposure to the media, it can get overwhelming sometimes seeing pictures and videos of people living wonderful life while in your own opinion you aren’t doing so well yourself (note my choice of words, in your own opinion and this is because, often times, we have a lot going for us, but just seeing other people life can make it appear like so much isn’t really going well with us).

Hope you get that point?


Don’t Compare Your Life To The Person Next Door

Every one of us is a unique being, and except for multiple births, no two people are the same in every way.

This is so true, I recently tried unlocking my twin sister’s phone with my fingerprint and it didn’t work, so you see even multiple births have their uniqueness, and this goes to show a long way that we all are different and that your life journey is particular to you.

That the next person is taller than you don’t mean that you aren’t beautiful in your own right too, that the boy next can sing so well does not mean you don’t have other great talents embedded in you too.

Everyone has something unique about them, take time to discover yours too.

The scripture says When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise (2 Corinthians 10:12).

I am sure you are wise, so stop comparing yourself with others.

Scriptures To Re-Condition You

1.        You were bought at a price… ( 1 Corinthians  6:20a)

Someone considered you valuable enough to buy you, and it isn’t just money but with blood. Let this re-condition you.

2.      I have loved with an everlasting love ( Jeremiah 3:13b)

You are not hated. God loves you, and His love is everlasting.

3.       But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession (1 Peter 2:9a)

This is you. You are not rejected, you are chosen

4.      You are wonderfully and fearfully made ( Psalm 139:14)

Irrespective of what the scale reads when you are on it, you are made just how God wanted it, and He makes no mistake.

Let these scriptures re-condition you. 

Always remember that you are unique and you are loved.

Let me end with this scripture, you remember when Moses sent out twelve spies to Jericho to have a view of the land and bring back report, they came back with two out of the lot saying they were able to go up and take the land, while the majority of the lot, about ten of them mentioned how small they appeared in their own sight.

Now, this was not the report of the other nation, this report came out directly from their own mouth, how do you see yourself?

You are either big or small in your own eyes, the choice is ultimately yours.

Choose wisely.

 You can also read One Lie We Often Believe



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