A letter from a Good Girl Gone bad

by - June 18, 2020

My name is Sola Peters.

I was an answer to the prayers of my parents who have been praying to God for the gift of a child for the first six years of their marriage.

My birth brought so much joy to her parents and to everyone within my parent’s circle of influence who had prayed and looked forward to the day when God would definitely smile on the Peters.

I grew up seeing my parents pray every morning and night and every time in between. I would see my dad sit down at the dining area bending over books which my young mind didn’t fully understand at that time. As I grew up, I began to understand that the various books I saw my father bending over on the dining table were different versions of the bible.

Like the typical Preacher’s kid, I had my days of waiting for my parents in the car while they would be busy sometimes for hours without end moving from one meeting to another. Last Sundays were the days I dreaded the most as we wouldn’t leave the church premises till far late in the night because of monthly record which needed to be tidied up.

I grew up serving God as that was my only reality, before long, I soon started representing my church in bible quiz competitions within my state and even outside my state. I wasn’t only good in bible quiz but also in school, my parents were always beaming with joy whenever they came for prize giving day. I was indeed an answer to prayers.

Then I met Wale on my 15th birthday.

We met when one of his friends brought him to the tutorial center I attended. The first day he spoke to me was great as I have never felt the way I did while he was talking to me.

Wale came from a broken home, and to him, every girl child is just a fun project whose end is to get them on his bed.

At first, I felt that wale doesn’t belong to the same class as I did. Although he attends a church too but there was just something about him that didn’t really sit down with me. Looking back now, I wonder why I still kept seeing him, or why I still kept letting him sit beside me during classes or why I even allowed him make me sit on his laps in the bus when we were going to his house.

Yes, I followed him to his house, he begged and begged that day at the tutorial center, and I felt there was no crime in following him to his house, although a part of me felt was what I was doing was wrong, I still followed him.

We got to the apartment where he lives with his father, his father had traveled to another city on an official assignment and his sister was residing with their mother, so he had the whole apartment to himself.

He entertained me, and I did enjoy myself.

Soon after, I suddenly felt a hand around me, I looked back to discover that it was wale touching me; I slapped his hands off and told him, ‘I will love to go back home now.’ I said to him.

He told me he didn’t want me to go and that he was really enjoying my company. An alarm ran in my head at that statement but I refused it, I stayed back despite the uneasiness I was feeling.

Lon story cut short, we had sex in his father’s sitting room.

I stood up from that bed and my eyes suddenly became open, I couldn’t believe this just happened to me, a church girl, how was I going to look into the eyes of other ladies in church who were still virgins.

I just stood up from there, thank God I was among the ladies who had thin hymen so I didn’t really have myself stained and in about few minutes, the only evidence that remained after I had lost my virginity was a little pain down there and a little amount of blood on the bed sheet.

I got back home and kept pretending as though all was well, my mom kept looking at me as though something had happened to me, but after a while of asking me questions and I was not coming forth with answers, she left me to be on my own.

What happened between Wale and I must have opened up a side of me that had been lying dormant, because soon, I was the one running after him. One would think the bolts that were used to hold my brain together was also removed alongside my virginity, cos I couldn’t just keep my legs closed any more.

This continued till I got into the Uni.

I started attending the campus fellowship due to my dad’s command, it was there I met other Jesus girls and in my second semester the sisters’ unit paired up different ladies as prayer and accountability partners. That was how Juliet came into my life. Before long, we became close and although I had promised myself I wasn’t going to tell anyone what was wrong with me, but I soon found myself opening up to her.

She was so easy to talk to unlike my sisters’ coordinator in my daddy’s church who used to have an air of holier-than-thou anytime she was walking by. Every thought of telling her about my case flew out of the window when she used an information Esther who is one of my friends shared with her in confidence as a case study during the sisters’ program. 

She had given enough details about the person she was talking about that I didn’t need a prophetess before I knew it was Esther she was referring to. Esther had gone home crying that night while I had gone home deeper into my sins since there was no one I could share my innermost feeling with.

Juliet came through for me, she would call me in the morning and at night, there were days the temptation would be so great that I would feel like grabbing the next man I see, but Juliet wouldn’t let me be, there were days she wouldn’t get off the phone until she was in my room. She helped me get back on my feet.

There were days I felt too weak to continue but Jesus was there for me every step of the way.

I thought I have been sentenced to a life of just getting married to just any good guy, in my mind I felt who would want damaged goods, but God proved himself yet again.

Tomorrow, I will be walking down the aisle with Tobi who thinks I am the next thing since slice bread. I thought he would run away when I told him in few words of the things I have done when I didn’t know better, but he still stayed. 

The words he told me at Ndubuisi Kanu Park at Ikeja still rings in my mind

‘Sola, God has forgiven you and has welcomed you back into his fold; he wants me to be an expression of that love to you on earth.’

To think God loves me this much brings so much joy to my heart.

I’ll be saying yes to him in front of witnesses tomorrow.

You can never be too far gone in your sin.

All you have to do is come back home.



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