Before You Say Yes To That Married Man

by - April 16, 2020

The issue of extramarital affairs is fast becoming a big deal in today’s world.

Infidelity is a very major back bone of every divorce and this infidelity is centered on a lady who opened her hands up to another man’s husband.

Out of all the men who end up divorcing their wives, 70% of them have ladies on the side who are waiting for them to divorce their wives and come to them. 

As a single lady, there will be times when you have to stand your ground against becoming the reason why another woman somewhere is crying or why children’s school fees are not being paid because you have been given the money to make your hair or to shop for nice clothes with it. This man miht be a colleague or boss at work, it might even be someone living on the same street as you or just a stranger whom you met in the bank and exchanged numbers with.

There will be times when saying no will be so easy and there will be times also when saying yes will seem like the next best thing you can do.

 These men come to single ladies for different reasons, some just because of their lust and insatiable hunger, others because they just can’t take their eyes off anything in skirt, some as a result or an ongoing challenge in their home at the moment, and some just for the fun of it. 

Yes, some people have extra marital affairs just for the fun of it and to feel among their peers.

While those men might have their various reasons for asking us out, but no reason is ever legitimate enough to go out with another man’s husband talk less of going to bed with him.

There are times when you might not know that a man is married depending on the circumstances under which you met. Such circumstances might be a man in another department in your office who just got employed and isn’t wearing a wedding band, it is almost impossible to know if such a man is married especially if he is not willing to be truthful. 

While we will trust God to reveal those circumstances to us, we can also safeguard ourselves against having an affair with a man whom we know has sworn commitment to another woman.

Things To Keep In Mind

          1.     Be Determine Never To Do It

While there are times when the situations will be beyond what you can cope with, but determining beforehand never to have a relationship with a married man before he ever comes might just be your saving grace. 

Now isn’t the time to stay on the fence or even think about the proposal a second time. It is supposed to be a big NO!

 Determination beforehand helps open your eyes to the other options you have available to you.

While it’s true that there are University lecturers who would never give good grades to their female students except first sleeping with them, but not every lady slept with that lecturer who had the record for getting girls on his bed. One thing is common for those ladies who didn’t sleep with him to have grades, their minds were already made up even before he showed up, so seeing sex as an exchange for grade was never in their vocabulary, this ultimately freed up their minds and they were able to weather the situation well with God on their side.

Catching another’s woman’s husband might not just be about sleeping with him, other times it involves engaging in an emotional affair with him. This isn’t saying you won’t have married men as friends but there should be a boundary set so you don’t cross over it. 

There are times this emotional affairs grows into full-fledged affair but they could have been nipped in the bud if only the lady involved wasn’t ready to catch the ball the man was throwing her way. 

Have a list of conversations you would never discuss with a married man, there should be a time limit attached to when you won’t chat with a married man especially one who is moving too close for comfort. If all the men in your life that you call friends are married, it might be high time you started looking out for new set of friends.

A married man has no point calling/chatting with you at some ungodly hours of the night especially if it is not life-threatening or very important official matters.

Be determined not to be the reason why another woman somewhere goes to bed in tears.

                 2.     Be Quick To Remind Him Of His Family

Whenever a married man is directly or indirectly hitting on me, one of the thing I do is to consistently ask after his family. This has always served as a subtle reminder for myself and the man in question that he is married and so out of a prospective suitor. 

If I know the name of the children of such man and depending on the kind of relationship I have with him, I am always quick to ask after the well being of his wife and children.

I do this well to someone I know, once we have greeted each other and talked about general things, once I start to sense that the next thing he’ll be saying is that issue, I am always quick to ask of his wife and kids. He would look at me and then laugh. I think it’s better I keep reminding him that I am not interested in buying what he is selling rather than just playing along. 

If you save a man and you aren’t a willing accomplice in the breaking of someone else’s home, his eyes will clear after a time, he will get back into his right senses and will get into terms with his wife, and you won’t be the victim who would have wasted time, emotions and body on someone who can never be yours.

          3.     Bear In Mind The Law Of Sowing And Reaping

The book of Ecclesiastes tells us there is a time to sow and a time to reap. 

Either you believe it or not, this time as a single lady is the time to sow the kind of seeds you want to reap in your marriage. 

If the man’s excuse for wanting to date you is that his wife breast is now flat after it has served as food for his three boys who were on exclusive breast feeding for six months, and you agree to date such a man, you are only sowing a seed which you should be ready to reap when it is your turn.

Only sow the seeds that you would someday want to reap yourself.If you’re trusting God for a man who will be faithful to you regardless of your many faults, then don’t be a party to another man’s unfaithfulness. It doesn’t pay at the end of the day.

There are tremendous benefits involved in not playing the second fiddle 

  •       Your relationship with God won’t be tampered with 

You won’t be saddled with the responsibility of having to deal with the guilt that accompanies telling God sorry and sorry over again in the place of prayer and this puts will invariably put you in a place where you can be used by God.

 ·         You won’t be the victim who would have wasted time and emotions over a man who can never be hers

Being in a relationship with a married man is something that is destined to just make you waste time and emotions over something that will never be yours.

It is synonymous to just keep planting on a rocky round, no matter what you do, you can’t find any tree finding roots downwards, so also when you are wasting time and emotions on a man who is already married, it is the just a sheer waste of time and emotions.

If you decide not to waste that time and emotion on someone who will never be yours, then that’ll help you free up your time for what really matters and you’ll also be able to lavish emotions on the person who would deserve it when it is finally the time.

·         You’ll have a friend for life

Just consider a man who due to the things he is going through at home decides to ask you out. You give him a no and then helps him get a grip of his emotions while not bridging boundaries, when such a man finally gets a grip on whatever was the marital challenge he was struggling with, you’ll have got a family friend for life.

Playing a second fiddle isn’t what God wants for us single ladies, and until the right man comes, we won’t be among those scattering the homes of our sisters who are married.

While there are some men who would never stay faithful to their wives, make sure you aren't the one who is the second woman in the picture.

And just so you know, not every married man who is being nice to you wants something in return, some are God-sent to you. Be discerning.

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