Last week Friday was the Valentine’s day also known as Lovers’ day and so with the way so many people were displaying their love up and down, it was almost getting too close for comfort for those who are still waiting.

I understand how it feels when almost everyone around you is seeing someone, engaged or even ultimately married while you celebrated the day just going to work and coming back home to eat, read a book/watch a film, or probably attend an online class and then sleep or you might even have friends who are going out while you’re left with no one but close friends and family.

As a person, I hate waiting for something or people, I love things happening when they should or people keeping up to their appointment. I dislike being stood up, but this Christian-life has taught me one thing, things do not just happen when I want them to, but at their appointed time. And it is only great if I harness that period while I am waiting to get better rather than get bitter.

Being Christians does not guarantee that things will just happen whenever I want them, but I have that assurance that they will happen, and they will happen in a big way.

As we go through life, things will happen that weren’t even part of what we budgeted for but God is faithful. Life happens but God is faithful.

We (everyone) all are waiting for one thing or the other, and although they differ, but everyone on planet earth is definitely waiting for something. For some, it is to give birth, others a wife, for another it is a husband, for another it is a job, and yet someone else is waiting to get admitted into the higher institute of learning, for another visa approval. You might not fall into any of the aforementioned category, but, we are all waiting on God for something.

Oftentimes, while we wait for these things, it is so easy to get worked up concerning not having those things that we begin to go through emotional stress and a whole lot of other things in between, sometimes we even fall into depression with suicidal thoughts accompanying it.

My words to those whose hands are still bare…

REMEMBER THAT IT IS A PHASE

This is so one of the things that keeps me sane.

I remember a time in my life when passing primary school common entrance was my highest goal, and after that writing my WAEC and JAMB successfully to be able to be admitted to get into a university and after that, graduating and after graduating, I couldn’t wait to go for NYSC, and after that I couldn’t wait to have a job… And the list continues.

There will always be yet another phase in life.

So dear single one, bear in mind that this phase is only here now and will one day become a thing of the past, but between now and then, how do you intend building your life, in what ways are you going to let God mold you to the specifications that you alongside your better half will be able chase the 10,000 assigned.

In no distant time as the lord wills, this phase will also be over, so get the best out of it.

Have you ever wanted to do some things and you are still waiting to get married before you start doing them, except that is an instruction from God, now might just be a good time to start.

Start that second degree in that field you are passionate about!

Attend that training outside your country!

Go for that thing that you have always wanted to do, this phase will be over someday and there might not be enough time then as you have it now.

YOU ARE BEING MADE A COMFORT

I know that this is one thing we often do not want to listen to.

No one wants to go through unpalatable things to be able to become an example to others, but there are sometimes that this is just exactly what happens.

2 Cor 2:3

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

Can you for a while just think that the reason why you are going through all that you’re going through is because in few decades from now, someone else will go through what you are also going through now and you will be able then to comfort that person through the same comfort you have received from God in that aspect of your life.

Can you just think that what you are going through now will serve as premises for someone else to be able to know that the same God who did it for you could also do it for them?

I am not saying the waiting season would be easy but it will definitely be worth it.

NEVER DOUBT GOD’S LOVE

Oftentimes, when we go through unpalatable things, we are quick to attribute it to God’s punishment or believing that God doesn’t love us as much as he loves those who have received the things we are trusting God for, but that is not true. It isn’t.

God loves you as much as he loves that other person. He is a good Father who loves all his children.

Never doubt that fact.

Let your eyes of faith keep seeing that God is good, even while your ring finger is still band-less while you desperately want to wear the ring.

Rejoice in God’s love for you.

BECOME THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT

Rather than sitting down and watch time just past while you wait for that better half, take out time to become better.

Write down things you want to see in that significant other, and then begin to make definite steps to becoming that person yourself.

Do you desire to have a prayer-brand partner? Then invest time into your prayer life.

Do you desire to have a partner who will be a blessing to nations? Then take out time to understand what that entails and then begin to become a person who is a blessing to nations.

Do you desire to have a partner who has a great dress sense? Then begin to become better in your style too.

Do you desire someone who is a good manager of money? Then invest time into knowing about being able to manage your money too.

Anything you would want your partner to be, try to make sure you are the same person yourself.

DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS

As you watch the years go by, it’s easier to grab the nearest man/woman and just walk down the aisle. Some people got married to partners that wouldn’t have gone past being friends with if they weren’t in such a rush.

There is a kind of rush that comes with reaching a certain age especially when your age-mates starts getting married, and you start feeling like the odd one in their midst.

Parents and older relatives usually want the best for us, but there are times when their words, actions or reactions just seem to spur us in getting the nearest person who says Hi, but don’t settle for less.

If there are major character flaws you notice and you know deep down in your heart that you won’t be able to handle in the marriage, it might be best to just keep being single rather than be married and then divorcing or worse staying in a marriage where there is no peace or joy. You might think you can’t bear up with the different marriage questions people pose at you now, but if that rushes you into settling for less only because you want to stop them from disturbing you, the pain that could come later along might be hundred times whatever pain you might be feeling now.

Solape is still without the ring at twenty-nine, she is determined not to settle for less but recently her resolve is beginning to wane due to the different questions she gets from friends and family who can’t wait to eat firewood jollof rice at her wedding, then she meets Joshua who is thirty-seven, works as a bank branch manager, has his own car and has his own house in a particular good side of the town, he is generally comfortable. 

After few months of friendship with him, he declares his intention to get married to her, and although she can see the way he flares up at road-side vendors. Two months into their relationship, they went to a restaurant to eat only for him to slap the young  girl only because she didn’t attend to him on time even when it was obvious that they were people who came to the restaurant before him and so deserved to be attended to first.  Other people who had come to eat had had to come between him and the young lady so he wouldn’t further beat her while sending pity glances at Solape imagining what she must be coping with as his lady. The few friends she told warned her against staying in the relationship, but she was adamant.

That should have been her cue to get out of that toxic environment, but she still went ahead, the few times he threw some slaps her way should have even made her leave but the sum of  money that she got as compensation for the discomfort, and coupled with the time that time was going, she continued to endure. They got married and few months down the line, it became obvious to her that she had made a mistake. She is not enjoying her marriage and she can’t go back home. She is stuck.

You don’t want to be like that, so don’t allow the years passing you by make you settle for less than the best.

Do invite me when it's finally time to eat the firewood jollof rice, but pend the time it happens, bask in God's love for you...