Last week Friday was the Valentine’s day also known as Lovers’ day and so with the way so many people were displaying their love up and down, it was almost getting too close for comfort for those who are still waiting.

I understand how it feels when almost everyone around you is seeing someone, engaged or even ultimately married while you celebrated the day just going to work and coming back home to eat, read a book/watch a film, or probably attend an online class and then sleep or you might even have friends who are going out while you’re left with no one but close friends and family.

As a person, I hate waiting for something or people, I love things happening when they should or people keeping up to their appointment. I dislike being stood up, but this Christian-life has taught me one thing, things do not just happen when I want them to, but at their appointed time. And it is only great if I harness that period while I am waiting to get better rather than get bitter.

Being Christians does not guarantee that things will just happen whenever I want them, but I have that assurance that they will happen, and they will happen in a big way.

As we go through life, things will happen that weren’t even part of what we budgeted for but God is faithful. Life happens but God is faithful.

We (everyone) all are waiting for one thing or the other, and although they differ, but everyone on planet earth is definitely waiting for something. For some, it is to give birth, others a wife, for another it is a husband, for another it is a job, and yet someone else is waiting to get admitted into the higher institute of learning, for another visa approval. You might not fall into any of the aforementioned category, but, we are all waiting on God for something.

Oftentimes, while we wait for these things, it is so easy to get worked up concerning not having those things that we begin to go through emotional stress and a whole lot of other things in between, sometimes we even fall into depression with suicidal thoughts accompanying it.

My words to those whose hands are still bare…

REMEMBER THAT IT IS A PHASE

This is so one of the things that keeps me sane.

I remember a time in my life when passing primary school common entrance was my highest goal, and after that writing my WAEC and JAMB successfully to be able to be admitted to get into a university and after that, graduating and after graduating, I couldn’t wait to go for NYSC, and after that I couldn’t wait to have a job… And the list continues.

There will always be yet another phase in life.

So dear single one, bear in mind that this phase is only here now and will one day become a thing of the past, but between now and then, how do you intend building your life, in what ways are you going to let God mold you to the specifications that you alongside your better half will be able chase the 10,000 assigned.

In no distant time as the lord wills, this phase will also be over, so get the best out of it.

Have you ever wanted to do some things and you are still waiting to get married before you start doing them, except that is an instruction from God, now might just be a good time to start.

Start that second degree in that field you are passionate about!

Attend that training outside your country!

Go for that thing that you have always wanted to do, this phase will be over someday and there might not be enough time then as you have it now.

YOU ARE BEING MADE A COMFORT

I know that this is one thing we often do not want to listen to.

No one wants to go through unpalatable things to be able to become an example to others, but there are sometimes that this is just exactly what happens.

2 Cor 2:3

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

Can you for a while just think that the reason why you are going through all that you’re going through is because in few decades from now, someone else will go through what you are also going through now and you will be able then to comfort that person through the same comfort you have received from God in that aspect of your life.

Can you just think that what you are going through now will serve as premises for someone else to be able to know that the same God who did it for you could also do it for them?

I am not saying the waiting season would be easy but it will definitely be worth it.

NEVER DOUBT GOD’S LOVE

Oftentimes, when we go through unpalatable things, we are quick to attribute it to God’s punishment or believing that God doesn’t love us as much as he loves those who have received the things we are trusting God for, but that is not true. It isn’t.

God loves you as much as he loves that other person. He is a good Father who loves all his children.

Never doubt that fact.

Let your eyes of faith keep seeing that God is good, even while your ring finger is still band-less while you desperately want to wear the ring.

Rejoice in God’s love for you.

BECOME THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT

Rather than sitting down and watch time just past while you wait for that better half, take out time to become better.

Write down things you want to see in that significant other, and then begin to make definite steps to becoming that person yourself.

Do you desire to have a prayer-brand partner? Then invest time into your prayer life.

Do you desire to have a partner who will be a blessing to nations? Then take out time to understand what that entails and then begin to become a person who is a blessing to nations.

Do you desire to have a partner who has a great dress sense? Then begin to become better in your style too.

Do you desire someone who is a good manager of money? Then invest time into knowing about being able to manage your money too.

Anything you would want your partner to be, try to make sure you are the same person yourself.

DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS

As you watch the years go by, it’s easier to grab the nearest man/woman and just walk down the aisle. Some people got married to partners that wouldn’t have gone past being friends with if they weren’t in such a rush.

There is a kind of rush that comes with reaching a certain age especially when your age-mates starts getting married, and you start feeling like the odd one in their midst.

Parents and older relatives usually want the best for us, but there are times when their words, actions or reactions just seem to spur us in getting the nearest person who says Hi, but don’t settle for less.

If there are major character flaws you notice and you know deep down in your heart that you won’t be able to handle in the marriage, it might be best to just keep being single rather than be married and then divorcing or worse staying in a marriage where there is no peace or joy. You might think you can’t bear up with the different marriage questions people pose at you now, but if that rushes you into settling for less only because you want to stop them from disturbing you, the pain that could come later along might be hundred times whatever pain you might be feeling now.

Solape is still without the ring at twenty-nine, she is determined not to settle for less but recently her resolve is beginning to wane due to the different questions she gets from friends and family who can’t wait to eat firewood jollof rice at her wedding, then she meets Joshua who is thirty-seven, works as a bank branch manager, has his own car and has his own house in a particular good side of the town, he is generally comfortable. 

After few months of friendship with him, he declares his intention to get married to her, and although she can see the way he flares up at road-side vendors. Two months into their relationship, they went to a restaurant to eat only for him to slap the young  girl only because she didn’t attend to him on time even when it was obvious that they were people who came to the restaurant before him and so deserved to be attended to first.  Other people who had come to eat had had to come between him and the young lady so he wouldn’t further beat her while sending pity glances at Solape imagining what she must be coping with as his lady. The few friends she told warned her against staying in the relationship, but she was adamant.

That should have been her cue to get out of that toxic environment, but she still went ahead, the few times he threw some slaps her way should have even made her leave but the sum of  money that she got as compensation for the discomfort, and coupled with the time that time was going, she continued to endure. They got married and few months down the line, it became obvious to her that she had made a mistake. She is not enjoying her marriage and she can’t go back home. She is stuck.

You don’t want to be like that, so don’t allow the years passing you by make you settle for less than the best.

Do invite me when it's finally time to eat the firewood jollof rice, but pend the time it happens, bask in God's love for you...

I am a strong believer that my worship of God should not become irritable to other people around me, believers and unbelievers alike.

They are some people who would never give their life to Christ not because they haven’t heard some great things about Him but because of the way the believers around them have lived or the kind of lifestyle the believers around them projects. Or what do you say concerning a Dare who is a neighbor to Tayo (a believer), Tayo loves waking up in the middle of the night to pray, but it disturbs Dare’s sleep and he had told Tayo countless times. This single action alone can make Dare swear to never become a believer.

I know that as believers we have to talk to God, and while some others can talk to God in the silent ways possible, others need to talk out and loud when praying and while they might not intend to disturb others it might actually serve as a means of disturbance. But then, there is one way we can pray that is sure not to disturb anyone but rather ignite other believers who hear you as you walk past them to pray, this way is PRAYER WALK.

Prayer walk is praying on the go, or as you walk on the road.

The first time I ever got really interested in prayer walk was when I got out of school and was awaiting NYSC, with so much time on my hands and with little to do asides writing, reading and eating, I suddenly realized that most of my days were spent indoors and they were days when if there was no church service, I realized that I could be at home for fourty-eight hours at a stretch.

So, one evening I decided to go out on a stroll around 7:30pm in the night, it was about time when those who went to walk were all returning back from home. I went along with my phone and earpiece and was listening to some songs and before long I started saying a word of prayer or two. After a while I started my journey home, before long, I got accustomed to praying and walking on the road.

Then, I got into the NCCF Family house where I stayed for my service year, I had to share the room with about 4-6 ladies when we first got into the house. It became almost impossible to pray without disturbing them which I didn’t like, so after a while, immediately after the corporate devotion, I’d take my phone and earpiece and start my prayer walk, talking to God about a certain matter or just worshipping the love of my life.

Have you ever wanted to have a prayer walk, then these few tips will help

   

If you’re like me, I’m sure you don’t enjoy doing much under the scourging sun, and except you are otherwise led by God, I’ll suggest you have your prayer walk early in the morning or late in the evening. 

Praying under a cool atmosphere would guarantee that you lose track of your fellowship with God on the road without necessarily having the sun beating you senseless.

As you begin to explore this one more way of making your needs known to the Father or just pure fellowshipping with God, I’ll advice that you stay clear off lonely paths or dark places. 

As best as possible try to go through paths that are not necessarily crowded but have people plying it.

Just proposing to pray without being definite about it will never make prayer walk possible. Have a dedicated day you’ll be committing to praying out on the street, and have an allotted time too, not necessarily a time you’ll stop but at least have a time you intend to start. 

Also decide on your route so that wouldn’t pose a problem when you are finally ready to begin your prayer walk.

You might want to decide that you’ll be having a prayer walk of at least one hour every Wednesday and Friday night, that’s more definite than just saying I’ll have a prayer walk.

I personally recommend this because if you were going on the road and you see a man or woman just talking to his/herself, you’re more likely to think the person ought to be checked in to the nearest psychiatric  hospital, and I’m sure you don’t want to look like a psychiatric  patient when you are just on the road talking to yourself. 

So as much as possible, try to have a phone and a earpiece/Bluetooth tucked in your ears, this makes the average person passing by you give you a look he would give someone who is having a conversation over the phone or someone who is just singing out loud and not that of someone who needs to be checked into the next mental home.

As much as possible, you can also go on a prayer walk with a friend and someone you can trust. 

I remember after I was handed over to in church, my predecessor and I went on a prayer walk, and although that particular night, I actually wish I was just in my room putting my legs on the wall, but when he said it was time I had to stand up and join him. Few minutes into the prayer walk, with the different things that was going on, I suddenly realized that I didn’t really feel so weak anymore, rather I was feeling so energized that I didn’t want the walk to end. 

Having someone you can pray with has its own advantages too.

There are times that might not fall into the time you said you were going to pray when you suddenly have a nudge to pray while you’re walking on the street, as much as possible, please be obedient and pray.  You might not fully understand why you’re doing what you are doing but it is better to pray and avert an evil that might have occurred to not praying and then begin to regret when the evil you perceived was hanging finally happens.

My friend was telling me recently how she was coming back from work and suddenly felt the urge to pray on her way home. She obeyed and started praying without even knowing what she was praying for. After some days she spoke to her mom who told her of a robbery attack that happened close to their house and how her sister was miraculously delivered, she further asked the time of the attack and discovered that it was about the same time when she had felt that nudge to pray. 

What would have happened if she didn’t pray at that moment?

So also, when we have that nudge to pray, let’s not ignore it, you never can tell who needs that prayer.

We are to pray without ceasing, we can, with God's help.

Do yo have any other tip for us to have a prayer walk? Please don't hesistate to share with us.

This is not me claiming I am 100% modest all the time or trying to tell you what length your skirt should get to or what point your top becomes revealing, but this is me trying to point out what is expected of the King’s Daughters and also serve as a subtle reminder for myself too.

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

1 Timothy 2:9-10, ESV

Modesty is such a big deal in today’s world and there are several people with different ideas about it.

It’s getting more rare day in day out to see ladies clothe themselves in modest apparels which does not show too much off cleavage or too much of skin.

While I was younger I used to pride myself in the fact that I was a beautiful teenage girl and so I had different guys approaching me. I used to think that what I was wearing had nothing to do with who I really am as a person so since the body belongs to me, I could as well as go all the way with different fashion of slits.

There was obviously one thing I didn’t understand then which I am growing in the understanding now,

YOUR CHOICE OF DRESS SPEAKS VOLUME ABOUT WHO YOU ARE

Asides the fact that our bodies are first to God and not ours, the choice of the dress we put on at every point in time shows a great deal the kind of person we are deep down on the inside of us. I used to wear some pretty short skirts while growing up, my parents would complain, my mom in particular will seize some of those dresses but that didn’t mean the next time I wanted to shop I wasn’t going to go ahead and buy my skimpy wears, but some things changed and as I grew up and grew in my knowledge of God, I realized this beautiful body doesn’t belong to me so I can’t just do what I wanted with it.

AS YOU DRESS, SO WHILE YOU BE ADDRESSED

In the few months I have spent in the corporate world, I have realized that dressing modestly is the reigning thing. Whenever we have meetings and I look across the older women amidst us who are so beautiful and have gone ahead in life or made significant achievement in life, I realized that these women do not show too much of thigh or cleavage. If the corporate life can demand that from its people, how much more we who are the daughters of the king.

HOW THEN DO YOU DETERMINE WHAT IS MODEST?

One of the ways to determine if what you’re wearing is modest or not is the motive in your heart. Are you wearing that particular gown so that all the men who would be seeing you will be dying to have a feel of your body or so that a man can see you and lust after you?

While in the university, one of the sisters told us of her experience concerning the issue of modesty. She had just bought this very lovely gown, and she decided to put it on to the lecture hall on a particular day. As she was wearing it, what was in her mind was that ‘dey go take today’ loosely translated that people are really going to fall for her dress on campus. As she was minding her own business in the school environment on that particular day, a boy just walked up to and began to toast her. The toasting was not even the problem as anyone could be approached, but the kind of guy who came to her was one that showed she had bitten more than she can chew.

On her way home, as she was communicating to God, the Holy Spirit reminded her of the statement sh made earlier in he day and she realized that indeed that was what happened.

Modesty isn’t about a dress code, it is about an attitude of the heart. So, although I can’t see what goes on in your heart, I can easily decipher it by what you wear.

As much as this Christian race is one that can not be successfully run alone, but it is as well a personal journey. There are some denomination that do not wear some particular set of clothes and there are some denominations that also allows it among their members.

As we go on in our journey with God on this side of eternity, God begins to deal with us individually. There are things God will tell me out-rightly not to do and might not demand same from my biological sister. When the lord demands something from you as a person  and you don’t do it, that becomes a sin on your part. 

There are some families who have nothing against the wearing of ear rings or sleeve-less tops, but the lord as you move on in your journey with him might be demanding that you do not wear ear rings as well as sleeve-less tops. This has moved past what the denomination you fellowship with is demanding to what God is demanding from you as individual.

This is so important.

As ladies, most time we don’t fully understand what our body does to a man, I mean why can’t I just wear that my lovely top that only shows a little cleavage. We go ahead by justifying ourselves  that it is our body and the gown isn’t so bad.

Modest dressing isn’t just about what has sleeves or what does not, it goes beyond just that. Due to our different body shape, a lady might wear a dress and it would appear right on her, while another lady might wear the same dress and might be considered inappropriate on her, so you have to always be ready to judge yourself and have close friends judge you too.

If you don’t want to stir up undue passion in others, then you shop for dresses with that thought at heart.

While I know some men can rape babies or even women who are fully clothed from top-to-knee, but there are also some men who are fighting lust tooth and nail and who staring at the too much of cleavage you’re showing might lead them down the destruction path, for their sake, don’t be a stumbling block.

While there are some body figure that would tempting even while wearing a sack of beans, but be sure that you have done your best and that God is happy with you.

The fact that I want to be modest in my dressing does not mean I have to look unkempt and become an insult to God, but it means that my love and fear of God shows in my choice of what I wear on my body.

Modesty shows how much you honor God and yourself, so show it well.