by - January 09, 2020

This is one topic most people never want to talk about especially in church.

The issues concerning sex has always been seen as a dreaded topic that should only be talked about in the corner of a place and not in public, and this obscurity really allowed sin thrive as people were suffering but they were silent about it.

After deciding this is a particular person I would want to marry, one of the things that should be put in place is a structure that will see to it that you don’t defile the body until when you are finally given the license in church to go all the way.

I have read and seen firsthand outstanding testimonies of people who got married without kissing and undue touching of each other’s body but who waited until the pronouncement from the altar. I once heard a woman who alongside her husband never kissed, never touched unduly, never had sex, it was actually on their way the reception after the church wedding did they finally start learning how to kiss so that they won’t embarrass themselves, but they finally ended up embarrassing themselves! But with the years she had been married, she has finally mastered art and need not embarrass her husband by being clumsy while kissing and all the other matters.

Love is a beautiful thing, it is capable of making a no-nonsense sister suddenly become a soft lady or a fire brand brother who speaks in capital tongues suddenly become so cool.

 There was this term we had in the NCCF secretariat where I served, they call the people the engaged corpers were  engaged to as shaky which means the person whose voice has the ability to make you shake.

It’s true that the temptation to get the hands over each other’s body is real for those in a relationship, it usually looks sometimes like you are drunk and if we don’t set some boundaries and structures in place, and we might open our eyes one day and realize that the deed has been done.

While some people do not see anything wrong in kissing and touching their partners body inappropriately, but these are all part of the sexual art itself.

The first day I read how God set boundaries for the waters and telling it how far it can go, that verse changed something about me. If God could set boundaries for the seas and oceans telling them this is how far they can come, how much more I who was created in His image.

So, how do you keep your hands off your partner’s body?


It’s a little easier when you and your partner both believe in sexual abstinence as against when it’s just one of the party who believes that the bed should be kept undefiled while the other feels indifferent about it. That both parties believe in sexual abstinence does not mean that the relationship will not have its share of temptations, but it serves as good ground knowing that you are both on the same page about honoring God with your bodies.

That resolve which is a personal resolve for both of you will serve as a good instrument in the hand of God on the day one of you is weak, the other person will be able to be strong and lift the other up until you’re both standing.


I mentioned it the post about things you should do in your single years, know what your sexual triggers are.

As a lady, are you more vulnerable when a man touches a particular part of your body?

As a lady, do you tend to feel more sexually aroused when it’s your time of the month?
As a man, does a lady’s hug seem natural to you, or is your body literally set on fire when you hug a lady?

Know these things.
When you start a relationship, discuss it with your partner not just for the purpose of talking but for ways through which you can both navigate through it and honor God with your bodies.


We don’t have to always have to live alone.
The lord has given us the gift of people both fathers, mothers, sisters and brothers who have gone ahead of this stage we are in and so can help us. Don’t think you can just keep sexually pure by yourselves, knowing in a part of your heart that your spiritual father/mother or a friend somewhere will ask you questions can be the saving grace in a seemingly compromising situation.

Having a father/mother over the relationship won’t achieve its purpose if you are not going to be true to them and you’ll hide some things. Purpose in your heart that you won’t hide anything that you should reveal to him/her. They can only help as much as they know.

One reason some people in relationship cross the line and find out that they just committed fornication is that they didn’t beforehand determine what will be considered too far in the relationship.

Will chatting about the color of each other’s underwear be allowed?

Are you allowed to hug each other fully?
What places will you not touch deliberately in each other’s body?

Draw the line now, before emotions begins to fly over.

If you both keep seeing that you can’t seem to keep hands off each other’s bodies when you see or that the hands just seems to have its own mind when you meet, then you might have to abstain from seeing each other for some time until you have a grasp on yourself and your emotion.

There is nothing wrong with the both of you when you are sexually attracted to your partner, in fact a deliverance session might need to be organized if you both have never wanted to go all the way with each other, but the challenge comes when you want to go overboard with it without being married first.

6.       DEPEND ON GOD

Yes, you’ll be in a relationship with another God’s daughter or God’s son, you’ll know your temptations, discuss it and avoid it like a plague, you’ll have someone you are both accountable and you’ll be sincere and let them be in the know as things unfold in the relationship, and you’ll also agree on what is too far in your relationship, but with all these things, there is still a place for total dependence on God knowing full well that he has your best interest at heart and that he is committed to making sure that you and your partner present yourselves to him as a holy and living sacrifice to him.
In the face of temptations with emotions flying in the air, you might just have Ten seconds to just whisper a word of prayer to God for help and watch him diffuse the sexual temptation in the atmosphere.

Your depending on God does not mean you’ll stay behind closed doors and begin to pray, not at all, it means you’ll stay within the confines where his grace can reach without tempting the Lord your God by yourself.

Premarital sex looks great, but it has the capacity of wrecking a lot of havoc;

You lose the presence of God and become overcome with guilt

You are at risk of becoming pregnant or becoming a father without planning to

You suddenly have to start telling several lie to cover up your mistake

You lose boldness to come to God in prayer with the devil constantly reminding of your fault

You lose the testimony you could have the privilege of sharing to other children of God.

There is so much at stake, so you can’t afford to lose, and with God’s help, the odds are in our favor.

The temptation is real, but God is more real, so instead of just allowing emotions get the better part of us, we put under subjection knowing full well that by the time we stand before our individual families and God on that glorious day, there will be no guilt eating us up and we finally be able to indulge in the very art we have restrained ourselves from. It will now be done with no fear and no condemnation. What a glorious atmosphere!

So let’s keep abstaining, let’s choose to honor God with our bodies.

Sexual purity is not only meant for people who are virgins, it is a tall order for everyone whose Lord is Christ. And although, there are times when non-virgins think there is nothing worth keeping anymore , at least the hymen has been broken, so why the abstinence?

This shouldn’t be so, once you have given your life to Christ, all your past errors have become a thing of the past (and if you’re having a hard time believing this, it’s high time you started believing and living in that consciousness). You no longer have any obligation to your old master or old way of life, you have been translated out of darkness to the kingdom of life now.

That some things happened then does not mean that you have to continue  now, you can decide to live in a way pleasing to God from now going forward.

So, irrespective of the situation, we'll keep standing by His grace.

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