Abimbola Writes: December 2019

December 19, 2019 3 comments

To start with, I sincerely think this is a book every lady either single or married must read, it isn't just another book filled with dos and don’ts but it is a very great book filled with situations we all can relate with and real-life stories of people who had gone through one situation or the other. It was a book I choose for my reading partner and I and it’s quite interesting how I was able to finish the over 150 paged books within 10 days.

The book is that great!

Lady in waiting was centered on the story of the lifestyle of Ruth, one of the five women who by grace were mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus, the others being Tamar, Rahab, Bathsheba and Mary (thanks to the lineage of grace by Francine Rivers who opened my eyes to this fact).

The book of Ruth started with the story of a man who left his native land alongside his wife and two sons,before long the father died. The story later progressed with the sons getting married in their new place of abode and soon enough the two sons died as well, leaving the mother of the house (Naomi) as well as the two daughters-in-law behind. After the demise of her husband and two sons, Naomi decides to leave the land and go back to her native land, her two daughters-in-law showed interest in following her back, and soon were on the way back home.

On the way, Naomi feels it’s a bad idea to have the two women follow her back home since she was too old to give birth to sons who would marry them and the probability of their betting married back in Judah was quite slim, she advices them to go back to what they were familiar with and move on with their life. After much persuasion on Naomi’s part that the two ladies to go back to their families, Orpah; one of the ladies went back home leaving Ruth who was not willing to go back home to what she was familiar with Naomi.

This story serves as a background to the book in discourse.

Let me share some of the things I learnt while reading the book with you, I also added my own meditations on some of the points that I gained from.

1. Becoming A Lady Who Loves God With Reckless Abandonment.

This should always top our goals list every year, every month, every week and every day of our life. As ladies, it isn't just about reading relationship books every moth, but when the last time you read a book that was was centered on your love for God.

Reading books with titles around Ten ways to get into his heart, Three sure ways to make him fall in love with you, Five ways to make sure he loves you more, books like these are all good, but are you also reading ways which you can show more love to your heavenly father more? If a check was made through your library, which book are we going to find in the greater percent, the one spurring you forward in your love for God or the ones telling you how you can get any man of your choice in three days?

Ruth was one woman who loved God, and although she didn't know much about Him, she was willing to leave all she was familiar with in search of Him. The statement she made about Naomi’s God being her God shows how much she wanted to know into this great God of Israel, and she definitely got what she wanted at last.

God isn't supposed to be the only one who loves us with a reckless love, we too should seek to love him with reckless abandonment.

2. Becoming A lady of diligence.

As ladies, we shouldn't be among the tale bearer or people whose life goal is just to be a busy body, but we have to be diligent. After the return of her mother-in-law and herself back to the land, she must just have very well decided to fold her hand and accept whatever come her way ,but she didn't, this young woman went to work.

In whatever our hands finds doing, let’s do it well. Are you a career lady? Then, be on top of it, get the needed certifications, register for that course. Are you an entrepreneur? Then be one with a difference, deliver the services agreed on when due, In everything you do, be a lady of diligence.

Seeth thou a man (woman) who is diligent in his work, he shall stand before kings and not mean men

3. Becoming A Lady Of Purity.

Being sexually pure ranks one of the highest challenges singles have, and for a woman who have been married before and enjoyed the privileges that marriage affords of which one of them is intimacy, I am sure there would have been nights when she would have wanted to be cuddled by just any man, but this woman was able to keep herself and remain sexually pure until the moment when she was finally settled in another marriage. As singles, our sexual boundaries shouldn't be made when we start the relationship or when you are just starting out as friends, it should have been established a long time before a man even comes into the picture.

You might have to answers this questions yourself

When is it going to be late to visit?

What are your own definitions of a secluded place?

Are you going to hug each other?

Will you for any reason sleep over at each other’s house?

Are you going to kiss him?

What is your take on sex before marriage?

Answer the questions first before he shows up, it is easier that way unlike waiting till he shows up before deciding what you’ll do.

Remember, we don’t prepare on the battle field, the preparation is done before the battle begins,

4. Becoming A Lady Of Conviction.

This chapter started with a story about a lady who had a list of the things she wanted, upon showing it to her friends they joked about her list of Mr Right and felt it was only God who could meet up to the standards she had written down. As at the time of writing the book, the lady was about getting married to a man who meets her specifications, her friends feels it’s nothing but a miracle.

A lady of conviction is one who knows that getting married to a man who isn't a Christian can never be allowed, she does not even accepts to date them because she is in the know that every date is a potential mate. She does not accept the proposal of just any man because her biological clock is ticking, but she rests in the abilities of God trusting him to give her the best.

5. Becoming A Lady Of Faith.

I love this chapter so much. It talked extensively on the need to trust God and have faith in his powers to link us up with the men he has for our life. You might be attending a church were all the men are either married or the age of your youngest brother which means that there is no suitable suitor there, it seems the probability of getting married soon is zero due to the fact that there are no suitable mates around your circle.

One of the real life stories shared was one about a lady who was eligible for marriage but with no suitable suitor yet, she volunteered to go to another country, a night before she goes, she meets this awesome guy in church but there was no way things would have progressed before she was traveling out of the country the next day. She leaves it all in God’s hands and goes on her trip. Few months after she was settled in her new place of assignment, a new construction company was awarded the contract to restructure the school, guess who was the head of the construction team? Your guess is as good as mine, the man she had met her last night in her country was there flesh and blood. That was the beginning of something beautiful and soon they were married.

Becoming a lady of faith doesn't just come by mere wishing, it comes by the things you fed your heart with. If all you read about is the ratio of boys to girls and how it becomes increasingly hard to get married after 30, that is the reality you’ll embrace. While that is the fact, it is not the truth in its entirety, our God makes all things beautiful in its time.

6. The last chapter ehn. I love a table was been constructed for the things a woman wants from a man and how those needs can be met in God. While this is not saying that you will not get married or be cuddled up in bed with the greatest expression of God’s love to you on earth on a rainy Saturday morning, but it sure will keep your heart at peace knowing that God has you in His plans and has it all figured out.

Why I want to get married	How God meets that need
I want to be loved	... I have loved you with an everlasting love ( Jer 31:3)
I want someone to hold my hand	... I will uphold you with my righteous right hand ( Isa 41:10)
I want a champion of my causes - one who is willing to fight for me	The Lord will fight for you (Exo 14:14)
I want intimacy	God is intimate with the upright (Psa 140:13)
I want someone to help me in life	There is no one like God who rides the heavens to help you ( Deut 33:26)
I want someone to meet my needs	God is meeting all my needs ( Phil l4:19)
I want to be accepted and valued	I am accepted in the beloved ( Eph 1:6)
I want to walk through life sustained and carried. I don't want the whole load of life	Even to my old age, God will sustain me,carry me, and rescue me ( Isa 46:4)

Such wonderful promises, while this does not in anyway mean your significant other would be useless with nothing to add to your already full life, but it means that God and He alone, is your sustenance and you are complete in Him with or without a man.

The book is definitely loaded and it will be a great thing if you can lay your hand on it and read this wonderful treasure and read for yourself, I'm sure you'll have a great time just like I did.

Do give me a thumps up when you finally read the book.

December 12, 2019 No comments

As a lady there is this great feeling that comes with having a beautiful face that draws comments from people, and it even goes higher when you as a person know you look good. There is usually this temptation to devote time and energy to making sure no hair is out if its place and that you’re always on fleek all of the time.

Beautiful ladies are all over the place and with the increase in skin products where you can have any desired skin type; the job has really gotten easier, and it seems the goal of every lady is to be beautiful on the outside while leaving every other aspect of life lacking. Looking good in itself is not a crime, buying skin product for your body, investing in exfoliating cream and other skin product to make the skin look better is not the challenge, but it becomes a crime when other aspect of life is left unattended to.

Recently a friend of mine celebrated his birthday, I called him to felicitate with him, at some point I asked him how he celebrated his birthday, he told me his cousin got married and that was where he spent his day. Coincidentally, I also know a lady who was getting married that same day and it happened to be that it was the same lady we were both talking about.

I didn’t know when I said 'your cousin has hit jackpot' and I sincerely meant it. While that statement is not because of the beauty of the lady or her parent’s social status, it was neck deep on the personality of the lady is herself.

There are some people that upon hearing they are getting married or they just got married, you just summarize in your heart that their spouse has hit raw gold, because knowing what you know about them, you can almost see how great the future will be with God on their side.

Now to the beautiful lady, in what ways are you allowing yourself to be groomed that when people hear you are getting married they can't help but envy that lucky man.

In what ways are you also allowing yourself to be groomed that it won't just be about what others are saying but the man himself will know he has hit jackpot.

I know the epistle according to you have to look beautiful on the outside because that is what most people see first, but with the beautiful face, what else are you adding?

It's interesting to have a beautiful face and a body figure that is great, but asides that what else will you be bringing to the table?

Just like being virgins alone as at the time of marriage is no guarantee that a marriage will be successful (this is not to water down virginity AT ALL) and because virginity alone cannot sustain a marriage does not mean we have to lose our sexual purity stand, but in addition to your beautiful face, what else should you add?

Let me share three things you can add to your beautiful face that is guaranteed to make you stand out now, and also in the future.

1. Add Virtue & Character

Being virtuous has little to do with a beautiful face and more to with the intrinsic parts of who that person is beyond the face value.

It's so disheartening to see that it’s almost as though the more beautiful a lady is, the less virtuous she tends to be, and this is due to the fact that she believes that there is nothing her beauty can't give to her and the beauty can also allow her ride roughshod on others without caring whose horse is gored.

Be virtuous, don't pretend to be virtuous, but you can start imbibing this culture into your daily life.

The Bible has given us a breakdown of a virtuous woman; check it out in Prov 31:10-31

Check the number of times when she did other things and then the times she devoted to her physical appearance. You'll be surprised it's a whopping ratio of 20:1.

This shows the importance of virtue.

Go out of your way to do things for people below your status

Help not just an eligible suitor but one who doesn't even look eligible

Be a woman of solid character.

Ever seen a beautiful woman shouting at a restaurant attendant before or a young lady insulting an elderly person in public, I'm pretty sure at the moment you wouldn't really how beautiful she is but how much she lacks character.

And like they say, character cannot be hidden for too long, just like smoke; it has its way of always coming out of its hiding place

2. Add Knowledge

Be knowledgeable, asides your beautiful face, what else do you know about?

Asides drawing of eyebrows and adding lipstick on the mouth, know what is going on.

Know what is going on in the career path you are treading, know a little about politics, know a little about investment, know a little about real estate, know a little about what it takes to buy a land and build upon it, know a little about cars, know a little about venturing into a new business, know a little about parenting, know a little about keeping a home, know a little about managing people, just keep learning.

Just a little here and a little there, before you know it, you’ll be able to hold intellectual conversation with people. Don’t just be an extremely woman with little or nothing in her brain.

I heard about a man who was married to an extremely beautiful woman, there was no doubt about the woman’s beauty at all, after a while, there was a dinner party organized by his company and he was given ticket for two. He had no challenge bringing his wife because he was sure other guys within the company were definitely going to praise him for marrying such a beautiful woman, the only challenge he knew he was going to have was when she opened her mouth to talk. He knew how shallow she was in her thinking. She was extremely beautiful on the outside but wasn’t knowledgeable on the inside.

Asides the joy it would bring to your spouse, it will help better your life in no small way too.

You don’t want to be that type of woman .Know something about everything.

3. Add the fear of God

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

It isn't enough to just have a beautiful face, but with the beautiful face, have a great passion for the Lord.

Have you ever considered how much asset your beauty is to the kingdom?

Through your beauty, you can even bring in people to the church, they'll approach you because of the beautiful face you have, they'll follow you to church for that same reason, and then the king of the kingdom will then take them for himself.

Love God, love him with a reckless abandon both in your closet and in the public. Don't be too beautiful to be associated with Him. You didn’t make yourself, He made you that beautiful.

Trust God and not your beautiful face. If you're unmarried, ask him for a man your beautiful face won't be able to give you.

The beauty itself will diminish with time, it is fleeting.

Ever seen a woman of 80 years before? I'm sure no man would want to woo her, so also, you'll become like that one day, what will be left.

What else would you be able to give your home and the world at large by the time the face is all wrinkled?

I read about a story late last year and one of the characters in that story was an old woman, she only wasn’t old but was even still serving as a spiritual pillar for her granddaughter as well as a mentor for a CEO, now that’s the kind of woman I want to be and that is what the scriptures promise us.

Psalm 92: 14

They will still bear fruit in old age; they will stay fresh and green

With your beautiful face, add Character, Knowledge and the Fear of the Lord.

December 05, 2019 No comments

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