Knowing What Really Matters

by - June 21, 2018

You mean you were expecting me to pray about Dare? I asked my friend Ara with a deadly look on my face

'Funmi, we both know that is what is expected of a sister who receives a marriage proposal from a man' Ara replied me with a tone that defied my glare.

'But, you know how much of a busy woman I am, I cann't waste my precious time in prayer over that kind of man Biko' Ara continued while buttressing her point.

'And what do you mean by that kind of man? I asked stressing the word 'that kind of man'

'He is not tush, he doesn't know how to dress, he is not smart, he commits blunder when he speaks english, he does not know how to combine colours, he is not even funny. Wo, Ore, the list is endless jare' Ara said as she got up from the bed on her way to the kitchen.

I couldn't help but shake my head as my friend of three years uttered those words.

'But all what you have stated are minor things o, I need some major reasons why you didn't even bother to pray about him' Funmi said as her friend returned to the room carrying a tray containing cake and a bottle of water.

'You call all those things minor? Ah! What are the list of the major things by your own standard then? Ara asked as she handed over a slice of cake to her friend before joining her on the bed.

'Okay, but you will have to answer my questions o. Is he born again? Funmi asked in between bites.

'Yes, he is born again' Ara answered wondering where all the questions was going to lead to.

'Does he love God?

'Of a truth, for the period of time we have been friends, I can boldly say that he loves the lord, and his love for God is even contagious sef' Ara replied her friend while cutting a slice of cake.

'Do his core values align with the word of God?

'Hmmmmmmmm. In all sincerity, his goals are deeply rooted in God's word. All he talks about is that after his departure from earth, people will say that they saw Jesus in Dare. Let me say it in his words 'I want them to say, because Dare lived, we caught a glimpse of Jesus' Ara said smiling as she remembered the way Dare's face glows whenever he made that declaration.

Is he a man of consistent character, can you say he is word-bound?

'Yea Yea. He keeps to his words o. If he tells me he will call me by 12 in the afternoon and doesn't call by then, just know something is wrong. He sure keeps to his words' Ara answered still wondering what her friend is trying to achieve.

'And I still don't get where you are going with all these your questions o' She voiced her concerns.

'Can he become tush? Funmi asked evading her questions.

'Yes, anyone can become tush if they work at it na'

'Can he learn how to combine colours and dress well?

'Anybody can learn how to combine colours and dress well. I also learnt it myself' Ara replied finally coming to the understanding of what her friend was saying.

Can he speak 'good' english? Funmi asked her friend

'Of course, with the right resources he can become a pro at speaking good english if there is anything like 'good english'. Ara replied smiling.

'So you see that you have placed more priority on the minor while deliberately ignoring the major' Funmi said to her friend.

'Hmmmmmmmmmmmm' That was all Ara could say.


It is becoming more alarming the way some ladies are putting more priority on what should take the least priority. They are more concerned about the things that can be changed with time as opposed to those that Only intervention from above can change.

While there are some are some features that can not be undone for example tribal marks, there are still others that can be worked upon. That a young man can not speak good english today does not mean he can not be taught.

There are some men that can't seem to wear their size of suit today, that does not automatically mean it will continue like that. I was going through our family album recently and I saw a picture of my dad around twelve years back wearing a SUIT (you know that kind of suit that looks like agbada, that was what he was wearing), but if you see him today....

Conclusively, before you write that man off, make sure it is really from God and not because of your misplaced piority.

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